Lean on Me
Inspirational Books
Book Review
Lean on Me
Cancer Through a Carer's Eyes
By Lorraine Kember
Reviewed by Byron Pulsifer
For most of us, we all have one thing in common. We will all face the death of a loved one whether that is a husband, wife, life partner, child, parent, relative, or close friend. But, one thing we may not share is facing the actuality that we will be the primary care giver, the nurse, to one we love. Will we be able to endure, have the inner strength to prevail while we wait helplessly for the final moment when our loved dies?
And, while there have been many diseases claiming our loved ones throughout time, one word that sends shudders through my spine is the prognosis defined as cancer. This book, "Lean on Me: Cancer Through a Carer's Eyes" by Lorraine Kember, not only aptly describes the medical challenges of her husband dying of cancer, but also deeply reflects on her most inner needs as the strength of every edge of her spirit is tested daily. This book stands as a true testament to a wife's most loving, caring, and desperate hope for a dying life companion.
For a lot of us, we may think that asking about the health of the person dying serves to demonstrate caring. Maybe this expression of verbal concern, though, only serves to seal ourselves from experiencing pain we would rather not know, or hoping by asking that the person dying is getting better. But, is this kind of attention what the care giver really needs from you to help them cope? Find out better ways to really help by learning first-hand from Lorraine's book.
As a one time health and social counselor, I have read and studied many books but Lorraine's is definitely one would highly recommend for all health practitioner's, and hospice staff. In fact, I would strongly recommend "Lean on Me" as a must read for all nurses' training and for doctors and nurses who specialize in palliative care.
Lean On Me - Cancer through a Carer’s Eyes - A book to help families cope with Cancer diagnosis
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Wisdom about Grief:
No one is immune to grief. There are those amongst us today who have grieved deeply in the past, and there are those who are grieving deeply now and sadly. All of us will grieve at some time in the future. Lorraine Kember
One joy scatters a hundred griefs. Chinese Proverb
Our friend is hurting, in pain, and traveling along the road of despair and grief. But old friend, never feel that we will not gladly walk with you through these difficult times. Byron Pulsifer, Reflection Of Life
While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irriates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissapte the remains of it. Samuel Johnson
One of the most important things we can do for people who are grieving is to give them a safe place in which to experience and express their pain J. Nelson
There is no cure for grief which time does not lessen and soften. Cicero
There is no feeling, except the extremes of fear and grief, that does not find relief in music. George Eliot
Most people move though grief at their own unique pace and many eventually find a peaceful acceptance. This does not mean that this terrible loss is "OK", but rather that one is no longer battling reality and has come to a place of acceptance of what is M. Barns
Every one can master a grief but he that has it. Shakespeare
Grief - Happiness is to feel that one's soul is good; there is no other, in truth, and this kind of happiness may exist even in sorrow, so that there are griefs perfable to every joy, and such as would be preferred by all those who have felt them. Joseph Joubert
You must allow yourself to grieve your loss. What does that mean? To us, it means allowing yourself to feel those emotions, no matter how intense they may be S. Quinn
He that conceals his grief finds no remedy for it. Turkish Proverb
Grief is the agony of an instant; the indulgence of grief the blunder of a life. Benjamin Disraeli
As much as it hurts, suppressing how you feel is like putting a lid on a pressure cooker and turning off the steam valve, eventually it will blow. By expressing your emotions, you start the healing process M. Hunter