Friendship is Not a Product
Author: Catherine PulsiferTo be a true friend means being there not when it is convenient to you but being there for your friend. To be a friend means that you are willing to give yourself not only through the good times, but also during the bad times.
There is a Turkish Proverb that descrbes friendship well: "A wise man remembers his friends at all times; a fool, only when he has need of them."
Encourage More
To be a friend means encouraging the strengths in others and accepting their weaknesses; in other words, accepting them for who they are. A friend encourages us when we doubt ourselves. They can sometimes see what we can not. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "A true friend is somebody who can make us do what we can."
Many people you meet throughout your work or though social activities may at first appear to be those that would be a good friend. You enjoy their company and seem to have many things in common. However, the real test comes when you really need them. Those that can respond to you without hesitation, or come to you despite the fact that they are really busy with their own lives are the ones that will stand out.
Not Just Someone You Know
Too many people feel that a friend is simply someone you go out with for fun and enjoyment, a party, a tea, a movie, or a sports event. This is not a true friend unless they have demonstrated the characteristics that have been described before. Others, who call themselves friends without really showing it are more like good acquaintances - do not confuse the two.
Recent events, that concern a friend, bring these points to the forefront. This is a person who beat the odds with severe drug abuse and remained clean for over fourteen years. But, after being married for nine years, he lost his wife who suffered a major heart attack. He fell to pieces; he was unable to cope with the loss and unfortunately, returned to drug use. What he justified had all the hallmarks of those famous excuses that are everywhere when people are unable to cope. Now, do you just abandon him and let him fall to the bitter levels of drub use, or do you try and help him?
A Really Big Need
There was no question that I would not forsake or abandon him now; he had made it before and there was no reason he couldn't do it again. I do not profess to be a counselor, but I still constantly reinforce what he needs to do and do what I can by way of encouragement to once again become clean. This is a sad situation but a true friend helps even when times are tough and that is when a person in need really requires all those attitudes and characteristics of a friend and not just a person who is there in the good times.
Not Always Easy
Friends are people you can count on to lend a hand, help by simply sitting and providing a empathetic or sympathetic ear, who demonstrate through both action and words that they are around for the long haul.
Life will always provide challenges and it is of no concern, except to friends, that these challenges may require a level of support. This support isn't about giving to receive anything; it is about caring, kindness and concern that is based in the genuineness of the person called a friend.
In the end, to be a friend means giving freely and not expecting anything in return. What is your definition of a friend? Do you live up to your own definition with your friends?
William Arthur Ward
Related:
Barbara Kingsolver
Words of Wisdom | Short Stories | Words of Appreciation | Privacy | Contact Us | About Us | Disclaimer | Disclosure | Motivational Links