Discouraged, Downtrodden, and AnguishAuthor: Byron Pulsifer, ©2017
To be discouraged, downtrodden or in anguish is not an uncommon emotional state. Nonetheless, each of these previous terms does not have to be the reality or, at least, not an on-going state of life. How does a person move beyond or through any or all of these negative and debilitating emotions of spirit?
Be Kind To YourselfLet's start off by admitting that it isn't always possible to be the happiest person in the world. Nor, can we always tell ourselves that being happy and positive is the normal all encompassing emotion. This means that we all have our down days or down moments when we can't quite leap into that state of happiness or total well-being. With this being said, it means that you need to give yourself permission to be kind or gentle to yourself.
Moving Beyond The Darkness Or TurmoilNow, on the other hand, it doesn't mean that life is meant to be lived in total gloom or experiencing the veil of darkness. Part of the beauty of life and our inner strength is to see beyond the tragedies of life, the failings or the problems and know that there is light beyond. So, how do people cope with or move beyond feelings of discouragement or feeling downtrodden by various life's events or times of anguish?
To Dream To Do To ConquerA dream is all about seeing what can be as opposed to what is currently. And, while thousands of people have dreams and start to take action, and more action, many ended up by not succeeding. Some didn't succeed and simply gave up like a friend of mine who took action to start a business and, as soon as it didn't work out, just simply gave up ever having a business of his own believing it just wasn't meant to be.
It is not a matter that people do not have dreams; there are dreams about everything imaginable. People have, for centuries, turned their dreams into action, and those actions have turned into accomplishments of every kind.
"Some people use failure as an excuse to give up, to become bitter, or cynical. Other people look at failure as an opportunity to revisit past decisions and to devise new strategies." Catherine Pulsifer
What Is The DifferenceThere are those who implemented actions to follow a certain set of dreams but failed miserably and not just once. They failed several times but kept going and finally succeeded . What made them different than those who just quit?
The real difference in those that I have read about, and of those that I have spoken to who have succeeded, is the ability to keep going despite the problems or obstacles. They are people who have no self-doubt, and are definitely not afraid of risk taking. These attributes have a lot to say about defeating discouragement, feeling downtrodden, and experiencing the anguish of failure. Nonetheless, while a failure is not in the least exhilerating, it is a reality that can have benefits. How is a failure a benefit you may ask?
Take Failure As A Great TeacherFailure is never the end unless you admit defeat. Defeat is a state of mind and is not a state of victory. This means that failure has to be seen as a golden opportunity to investigate what went wrong but, more importantly, what went right. Within the ashes of failure is the spark of new beginnings lost to those who see rubble as a reason to give up. Nothing about failure is the end but only elements that should not be repeated.
Once you have analyzed the benefits, that is what went right, it is time to reload your vision with new and better attack elements. Think of yourself as a General who has suffered a defeat. A general's mainstay is that of seeing a victory won not a continued state of despair. Back up, reload your ammunition, prepare your troops with the best weapons of approach you can envisage and charge full bore into the open frontier again.
The desire to succeed for these champions of success was the 'no option to quit' attitude. Giving up to them was the same as agreeing to stop breathing - it would never happen.
"Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure." Norman Vincent Peale
Action and More ActionAnd, one other thing you should know about those who have succeeded. Let me put it this way; you can never move forward by only thinking about it; to move forward and to finally achieve is to take action. It could be an action that leads to overcoming an obstacle by accepting that you will have to go around instead of the straight forward approach; it may be an action where you have enrolled in a specialized course because you know that you need more relevant and up to date knowledge; it may be action that extends your hand to someone else to ask for their assistance or guidance.
How do you get over the next hill? You put one foot in front of the other over and over again knowing that you won't get over it by standing still nor will you move forward adopting and internalizing feelings of discouragement, anxiousness or fear.
Believe In Your Abilities Not What Others Think Or SayOne of the worse things you can do is to listen to those whose only words are those of discouragement or words like "I told you that you couldn't do it". Words from those who seem to celebrate your defeat rather than your successes are the very same people who often have internalized the fear of failure in their own lives. What they are saying to you indirectly iare the very same words they use to persuade themselves that it is better to do the same old thing they've always done rather than to risk suffering a failure.
To be risk adverse is to welcome the company of those who have been defeated so they can feel gratified to know their lack of attempting anything new has been justified. Don't listen to them and, better yet, avoid them as if they had the plague. Seek out those who encourage, those who have been defeated or unsuccessful yet have gone on to achieve success or victory. Start associating with those on an never ending quest to succeed like athletes preparing for a championship game or those who are mentally pushing themselves to achieve significance in their own fields of endeavor.
Champions Of Success Aren't Born That WayThe greatest fallacy of those who fear or those who are adverse to risk are those who believe that only a select few are born for success. Nothing could be further from the truth. Success is not a genetic or inherited factor; success is a state of mind developed through understanding that risk, perseverance, dedication and the 'never quit' attitude are the key elements in combination that lead to masterful achievement.
Inspirational Quotes for Reflection:"Dare to dream, but even more importantly, dare to put action behinds your dreams." Josh Hinds
So, instead of beating yourself up, negating or denying your sadness and grief, or trying to “fix” it, simply repeat to yourself the best words anyone ever told me “Be gentle with yourself.” Jeanine Cerundolo
"Don't just be a dreamer, create goals for yourself and follow them to the end." Nathan Ergang
"People who don't take action because they were too afraid never live a life where they've accomplished all of their dreams." Zane Rozzi
"Strengthening skill sets is one thing that a person trying to accomplish any goal should practice." Sarfraz Sohail How To Accomplish Any Goal
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all." Dale Carnegie
"Dealing with the source of any self-esteem issues is critical to challenging the way you value yourself and speak to yourself." Rachel Robins, Feel Good About Yourself
"Without high levels of self-esteem you are unlikely to see yourself as being worthy of success or happiness, and as a result will never truly try your hardest to achieve it. It will also give you the courage to keep going when things get tough, and believe in yourself when others say you will never accomplish something." Lucas Cunningham, Self-Esteem: Improve and Change Your Life Journey
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