Discouraged, Downtrodden, and Anguish
Author: Byron Pulsifer, ©2017
To be discouraged,
downtrodden or in anguish is not an uncommon
emotional state. Nonetheless, each of these previous terms does not
have to be the reality or, at least, not an on-going state of life.
How does a person move beyond or through any or all of these
negative and debilitating emotions of spirit?
Be Kind To Yourself
Let's start off by admitting that it isn't always possible to be the happiest
person in the world. Nor, can we always tell ourselves that being happy
is the normal all encompassing emotion. This means that we
all have our down days or down moments when we can't quite leap
into that state of happiness
or total well-being. With this being said, it
means that you need to give yourself permission to be kind or gentle to
Moving Beyond The Darkness Or Turmoil
Now, on the other hand, it doesn't mean that life is meant to be lived in total
gloom or experiencing the veil of darkness. Part of the beauty of life and
our inner strength is to see beyond the tragedies of life, the failings or the
and know that there is light beyond. So, how do people cope
with or move beyond feelings of discouragement or feeling downtrodden by
various life's events or times of anguish?
To Dream To Do To Conquer
is all about seeing what can be as opposed to what is currently.
And, while thousands of people have dreams and start to take action, and
more action, many ended up by not succeeding. Some didn't succeed
and simply gave up like a friend of mine who took action to start a business
and, as soon as it didn't work out, just simply gave up ever having a
business of his own believing it just wasn't meant to be.
It is not a matter that people do not have dreams; there are dreams about
everything imaginable. People have, for centuries, turned their dreams
into action, and those actions have turned into accomplishments
"Some people use failure as an excuse to give up, to become bitter, or
cynical. Other people look at failure as an opportunity to revisit past
decisions and to devise new strategies."
What Is The Difference
There are those who implemented actions to follow a certain set of dreams
but failed miserably and not just once. They failed
several times but kept
going and finally succeeded
. What made them different than those who
The real difference in those that I have read about, and of those that
I have spoken to who have succeeded, is the ability to keep going
despite the problems or obstacles. They are people who have no self-doubt,
and are definitely not afraid of risk taking.
These attributes have a lot
to say about defeating discouragement, feeling downtrodden, and
experiencing the anguish of failure. Nonetheless, while a failure is not
in the least exhilerating, it is a reality that can have benefits. How is
a failure a benefit you may ask?
Take Failure As A Great Teacher
Failure is never the end unless you admit defeat. Defeat is a state of mind
and is not a state of victory. This means that failure has to be seen as a golden
to investigate what went wrong but, more importantly, what
went right. Within the ashes of failure is the spark of new beginnings
those who see rubble as a reason to give up. Nothing about failure is the
end but only elements that should not be repeated.
Once you have analyzed the benefits, that is what went right, it is time to
reload your vision with new and better attack elements. Think of yourself as
a General who has suffered a defeat. A general's mainstay is that of seeing
a victory won not a continued state of despair. Back up, reload your
ammunition, prepare your troops with the best weapons of approach you
can envisage and charge full bore into the open frontier again.
The desire to succeed for these champions of success was the 'no option
to quit' attitude.
Giving up to them was the same as agreeing to stop
breathing - it would never happen.
"Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that
determines our success or failure."
Norman Vincent Peale
Action and More Action
And, one other thing you should know about those who have succeeded.
Let me put it this way; you can never move forward by only thinking about it;
to move forward and to finally achieve is to take action. It could be an action
that leads to overcoming an obstacle by accepting that you will have to go
around instead of the straight forward approach; it may be an action where
you have enrolled in a specialized course because you know that you need
more relevant and up to date knowledge; it may be action that extends your
hand to someone else to ask for their assistance or guidance.
How do you get over the next hill? You put one foot in front of the other over
and over again knowing that you won't get over it by standing still nor will
you move forward adopting and internalizing feelings of discouragement,
anxiousness or fear.
Believe In Your Abilities Not What Others Think Or Say
One of the worse things you can do is to listen to those whose only
words are those of discouragement or words like "I told you that you
couldn't do it". Words from those who seem to celebrate your defeat
rather than your successes are the very same people who often have
internalized the fear of failure in their own lives. What they are saying
to you indirectly iare the very same words they use to persuade themselves
that it is better to do the same old thing they've always done rather than to
risk suffering a failure.
To be risk adverse is to welcome the company of those who have been
defeated so they can feel gratified to know their lack of attempting anything
new has been justified. Don't listen to them and, better yet, avoid them as
if they had the plague. Seek out those who encourage, those who have been
defeated or unsuccessful yet have gone on to achieve success or victory.
Start associating with those on an never ending quest to succeed like
athletes preparing for a championship game or those who are mentally
pushing themselves to achieve significance in their own fields of endeavor.
Champions Of Success Aren't Born That Way
The greatest fallacy of those who fear or those who are adverse to risk are
those who believe that only a select few are born for success. Nothing
could be further from the truth. Success is not a genetic or inherited factor;
success is a state of mind developed through understanding that risk,
perseverance, dedication and the 'never quit' attitude are the key elements
in combination that lead to masterful achievement.
"Dare to dream, but even more importantly, dare to put action behinds your dreams." Josh Hinds
So, instead of beating yourself up, negating or denying your sadness and grief, or trying to “fix" it, simply repeat to yourself the best words anyone ever told me “Be gentle with yourself." Jeanine Cerundolo
"Don't just be a dreamer, create goals for yourself and follow them to the end." Nathan Ergang
"People who don't take action because they were too afraid never live a life where they've accomplished all of their dreams." Zane Rozzi
"Strengthening skill sets is one thing that a person trying to accomplish any goal should practice." Sarfraz Sohail How To Accomplish Any Goal
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all." Dale Carnegie
"Dealing with the source of any self-esteem issues is critical to challenging the way you value yourself and speak to yourself." Rachel Robins, Feel Good About Yourself
"Without high levels of self-esteem you are unlikely to see yourself as being worthy of success or happiness, and as a result will never truly try your hardest to achieve it. It will also give you the courage to keep going when things get tough, and believe in yourself when others say you will never accomplish something."
Lucas Cunningham, Self-Esteem: Improve and Change Your Life Journey
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