Funny Life Quotes - Inspirational Words of Wisdom

Funny Life Quotes

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"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out." James B. Conant

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. Lucille Ball

"The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family." Thomas Jefferson

"A mother is the best friend God ever gave." Christian Nestell Bovee

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." Mark Twain

"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." Doug Larson

"Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead." Bill Mcglashen

"Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. William Arthur Ward

"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book." Groucho Marx

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant." Robert Louis Stevenson

"You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend. Edgar A. Guest

"So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!" Russel H. Conwell

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you donít mind, it doesnít matter." Mark Twain

"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." Elbert Hubbard

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." Linda Sunshine

He has a heart of gold - only harder. Adolphe Menjou

"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale." Arthur C. Clarke

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." Oprah Winfrey
Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
More Og Mandino Quotes



I've met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you - you're 20 minutes.
Jan Sterling




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"There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort."
Jane Austen

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