Funny Quotes about Life

Compiled by

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
James B. Conant
Perseverance   |     Risk Taking   |     Success   |    

I've met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you - you're 20 minutes.
Jan Sterling

Tolerance     |     The Farmer and The Old Mule     |    

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball
Lucille Ball     |     Honesty     |     Age     |    

"The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family."
Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson     |     Family     |     Home     |    

"Make allowances for your friends' imperfections as readily as you do for your own."
H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Instruction Book Volume II

Friend     |     Beyond The No Fault Friend     |    

Og Mandino Quotes
Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
Og Mandino

Og Mandino     |     Listening     |     Complaining     |    

"A mother is the best friend God ever gave."
Christian Nestell Bovee

Mother     |     God     |     Friendship     |    

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
Mark Twain

Mark Twain  |   Life   |   To Change The World   |  

"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk."
Doug Larson

Wisdom   |   Communication   |   A Challenge   |  

"If you had to define stress, it would not be far off if you said it was the process of living."
Stanley J. Sarnoff

Stress   |   Everything I Needed   |   Tonic Of Life   |  

He has a heart of gold - only harder.
Adolphe Menjou

Kindness   |   Meaning of Wealth   |   Sharing   |  

"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
Arthur C. Clarke

Character   |   Core Value   |   Your Own Drummer   |  

"Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead."
Bill Mcglashen
Patience  |   Laziness Is Not  |   Patience Tested  |  

"Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.
William Arthur Ward
William Arthur Ward |     Forgiveness  |     Psalm 23 |    

Funny Quote Art on Wall Art
"Life is short. Eat dessert first."
Live Each Day |     To Live More  |     Always Count |    

"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ralph Waldo Emerson |     Children  |     A Mother  |  

"I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book."
Groucho Marx

Books |     Knowledge  |     Feed Your Mind  |  

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant."
Robert Louis Stevenson

Action |     Persistence  |     Opportunity  |  

"You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend.
Edgar A. Guest

Edgar A. Guest |     Wealth |     Friendship Poems  |    

"So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!"
Russel H. Conwell

Happiness  |     Smiles Are Sunshine  |     Funny  |    

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Mark Twain

Mark Twain |   Age-Happiness |   Birthday Wish |  

"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them."
Elbert Hubbard

Elbert Hubbard  |     Ability |     Work |    

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."
Linda Sunshine

Sister    |     Love    |     Gift of Love    |  

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey  |     Challenge  |     Helping Others  |  

More Funny Quotes about Life:
Funny Quotes about Life Page 2    Funny Quotes about Life Page 3    Funny Quotes about Life Page 4    Funny Quotes about Life Page 5   
Funny Quotes about Life Page 6   

Words of Wisdom  | Inspirational Quotes  | Privacy   | Contact Us  | About Us  | Disclaimer   | Disclosure  |