Worry Stone

Author: Byron Pulsifer, ©2017

Who uses a worry stone? Is the use of a worry stone effective or is it all a false reality? The answers to these questions may surprise some of you.

What Is A Worry Stone?

Before one can answer the question who uses a worry stone, a worry stone must first be defined. A worry stone is a small oval shaped object usually consisting of a smooth stone. Historically, worry stones, or something akin to it, were said to exist in many cultures including Native tribes in North America an even as far east as Tibet. During the 1970's, worry stone seemed to rise to popularity but gradually faded to be replaced by small foam balls that became popular in stress reduction exercises.

Today, in some ocean side craft stores, polished small stones, naturally colored depending on the region, are often sold as novelty items where retailers often define their use as worry stones. In other small craft stores, worry stones have been replaced by using a small, smooth piece of fused glass that can be any color or combination of colors. In addition, some people would suggest that stone beads, like those used in some Christian and Buddhist traditions, rub these stones between the fingers when offering specific
prayers.

Who Uses A Worry Stone?

Do you know anyone who spends time worrying? Well, if you do, you will also know that worrying is not the exclusive domain of neither men nor women.

Sure, there is worry. A mother can worry about her children; she can worry if they will do well in school so they have a good job when they finish. Or she may worry that they will find a great person to marry, or that their eventual grandchildren will be healthy, or that their children and grandchildren will live close enough to visit.

Men, on the other hand, may worry about whether they can keep their job in times when so many are being displaced due to the increasing utilization of technology; or that they can adequately house, feed and cloth their family when costs keep rising while the paycheck does not; or they may worry that their education in one field may be inadequate for the future with concern about how to both finance or find the time to become involved in retraining.

In each of these cases, one could argue that the use of a worry stone may help to squash or assuage some of these worries especially when most of these worries on potentially rooted in what may happen in the
future. But, does the use of a worry stone change worry to non-worry? Or, does the use of a worry stone alter the issue that is causing the worry in the first place?

Internalizing Worry

Worry doesn't disappear as night draws near and sleep comes. Instead, worry arises each morning often compounded by even more worries. Worry can be debilitating especially for one's health, both physical and mental. Therefore, the question is whether using a worry stone really change, help, or alter or address the real issue of what is the root cause of the worry? In my opinion, a worry stone is simply no more than the outward expression that something is of concern; something is bothering you.

A Worry Stone Camouflages The Real Issue

If a worry stone is simply an outward acknowledgement of a concern, issue or problem, there is no lasting advantage to its use. It follows then, if I am corect, that there is a missing element. What is this missing element?

The Positive Revelation Of A Worry Stone

The positive revelation of a worry stone is that it focuses the mind on whatever is of concern. However, having said that, one of the biggest issues for many, many people is that they worry about things they have no control over.

The old adage is true: ninety-percent about which you worry, never happens. Basically, this means that there are potentially two kinds of issues that cause one to worry. The first is an issue that one has absolutely no control over; for example, whether you will lose your job because of outdated training. The other kind of worry is one that you do have some aspect of control over; for example, if you suspect that your training is outdated or soon will be outdated, than you can take proactive steps to update your training in your particular field. The decision to update your training, then, gives you a measure of control because you will have prepared yourself to be of continued value to your employer.

Another Example

Now, let's talk a little more about worry. First, let me say this. If you worry about something that you have no control over, or can absolutely do nothing about, then you are wasting your time, energy and emotion. Here is just one example - there are many, many more.

You are worrying that your daughter will meet the right kind of man, a man who will love her, care for her and all those good things that every mother wants. But, can you control whom she meets (maybe for awhile only), or who she falls in love with? The answer is 'no'. If you worry constantly about your husband driving to work and you are concerned for his safety, unless he starts to work at home and never drives again, you can not control other drivers. This is another waste of precious
time and emotions.

Overcome Fear and Worry

Worry and fear are closely tied to one another when it comes to overcoming both. You may be afraid of driving a car, for example. So, how do you overcome this fear? The best way is to do that which you fear the most, that is, drive. If you have never driven, then take action; take a driver's education program. The essential component here is 'action'. Nothing conquers fear better than action.

Consider This

Now, there is something else you should consider while you are forgetting about those things that you can't control and that is those things that you can control. Again, taking action is the way out of most worries that can be controlled, or at least can be hugely reduced.

And, last of all, do not forget about all the blessings that surround you. Instead of worrying about your children and what might happen, embrace them, give thanks for the fact that they are in your life. Look around; you'll start to see a host of other
blessings once you rid yourself of all of those unnecessary worries.

My Conclusion On A Worry Stone

If a worry stone is simply used to draw to one's attention that there is an issue or problem to be dealt with, then I would conclude that there is a positive aspect to its use. However, if a worry stone is used as some sort of mechanism to deal with or alleviate worry, than I would have to conclude that it is worthless.

Inspirational Quotes for Reflection:

"Life is short and spending it worrying over trivialities reduces its span even more." Emilee Day

"Anxiety can come in the form of a crippling sense of worry or unease about an event or situation." Jeff Gunn

"Reduce fears and anxieties by doing something about them and you’ll definitely reduce your stress and frustration, or you can eliminate them altogether." Melinda Bauer

"If your problem has a solution, then keep yourself from worrying because a solution is available to fix the issue. If the problem is out of your control, then there's no need to worry as well because it's out of your hand." Christ Lewis; Laura Lewis, Organize Your Mind in 24 Hours!

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." Charles F. Kettering


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