65 Funny Quotes about Life
Life has its funny moments. Let these funny quotes about life remind you
of such times but also you can read between the lines and find the wisdom that
"I've met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you - you're 20 minutes."
Life must bring ups and downs.
In life's ring let's be clowns!
Learn their way to make folk smile;
Dullest day, hardest mile.
Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.
Motivational Quotes |
"Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes
her life is more inspirational than listening
to a fitness coach with a perfect body."
Martin Meadows, How to Think Bigger: Aim Higher, Get More Motivated, and Accomplish Big Things
Inspirational Quotes |
"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages
Inspirational Sayings |
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
21st Birthday Quotes plus 30th, 40th, 50th
Without Sunday, I wouldn't know when to put on the brakes of a hurtling life.
Sunday Quotes |
Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
Martin Luther King Jr. Quotes
"As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school.
I actually believed all those books belonged to her."
"Running a multimillion dollar business can feel like a piece of cake
when facing a defiant and dramatic teenage daughter."
Colleen O'Grady, Dial Down the Drama: Reducing Conflict and Reconnecting with Your Teenage Daughter - A Guide for Mothers Everywhere
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the
way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage,
and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have
was never large enough to cover...."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Motivational Quotes about Life |
"Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked
fantastic Ö The problem was, so did her date."
"When science finally locates the center of the universe,
some people will be surprised to learn they're not it."
Funny Quotes |
"I have never developed indigestion from eating my words."
Words of Encouragement |
When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade."
Dale Carnegie Quotes
Pursue, keep up with, circle round and round your life,
as a dog does his master's chaise. Do what you love.
Know your own bone, gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still.
Henry David Thoreau
"A lot of people think the whole purpose of life is just to collect stuff.
You've seen the bumper sticker: 'He who dies with the most
toys, wins.' The truth is, 'He who dies with the most toys ... still dies!'
"On his seventy-fifth birthday a photographer said: 'I hope, sir, that I will shoot
your picture on your hundredth birthday.' Churchill answered: 'I don't see why
not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.'"
William Manchester, The Last Lion: Volume 1: Winston Churchill: Visions of Glory, 1874 - 1932
"Lucille Ball taught me that the best comedy need never be cruel to be funny."
Marie Osmond, The Key Is Love: My Mother's Wisdom, A Daughter's Gratitude
Lucille Ball Quotes |
"Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see
how far you get. The same goes for life. Look forward!"
Martin Henderson, Fatherhood: A Message to Men
"It's funny, I spent the first half of my life desperately trying not
to become my mother, and now I am spending the
second half of my life desperately hoping to become half
the woman that she is."
Helen C. Escott, I Am Funny Like That: A Funny Look At Life
"Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code."
Jelani Daniel, King of Quotes
Quotes about Taking A Risk |
Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old.
Abraham Lincoln Quotes
If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play;
and z is keeping your mouth shut.
Albert Einstein Quotes
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.
"Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop
a moving train; it's not easy."
Joseph R. Ferrari, . Still Procrastinating: The No Regrets Guide to Getting It Done
"Chairs were created because someone, somewhere, wanted to solve
a big problem: sitting on rocks causes sore bottoms."
Bill Burnett, Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life
"An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it."
Don McArt, The Mental Makeover
"The only time I don't have any problems in this world is when
I am already six feet below the ground."
James Jason, Positive Thinking: 365 Daily Positive Affirmations
"When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get.
I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. . . don't complain about the mud!"
Hyacinth Mottley, Words of Wisdom - Words of Faith
"People tell me, 'You're such an optimist.' Am I an optimist? An optimist
says the glass is half full. A pessimist says the glass is half empty.
A survivalist is practical. He says, 'Call it what you want, but just fill the glass.'
I believe in filling the glass."
Louis Zamperini, Don't Give Up, Don't Give In: Lessons from an Extraordinary Life
"Make allowances for your friends' imperfections as readily as you do for your own."
H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Instruction Book Volume II
Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
"A mother is the best friend God ever gave."
Christian Nestell Bovee
"To be successful, regardless of the field, one needs to be a participant
in the field of battle, rather than a spectator."
Charles Duncan, 5-minute Habits
"Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city.
If you clearly understand what the goal is,
you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address."
Thomas Abreu, Science of Success
"He has a heart of gold - only harder."
"For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable
and sometimes wild."
Ravindranath Jayaratne, The Power of your Future
Quotes about Life |
You can complain about the direction of your life all you want,
but until you sit in the driverís seat and begin to drive yourself,
you aren't going to get where you want to go!
"Life without Christ is like a vacuum cleaner without the electrical electrical
cord plugged in. It has no power to suck up the dirt."
Don Wilton, A Hope and a Future
"The successful know that the road to success is always under construction;
they understand the roughness of it and never expected it to be smooth."
Hernert O Nobleman, The Filigree of Success
The Road To Success |
"Life is short. Eat dessert first."
Live Each Day |
"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book."
"You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend.
Edgar A. Guest
"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant."
Robert Louis Stevenson
"If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
W. Somerset Maugham
Poems about Life |
"The world is plentiful with honey, but only the humble bee can collect it."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected,
let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!"
Russel H. Conwell
Smiles Are Sunshine |
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them."
"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."
"Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from
rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone."
Ted Robbins, Time Management: Master Time Management and Boost Your Success
"A turkey never voted for an early Christmas."
Irish Quotes and Saying
You may plan to write a book some day, but you are living a book every day.
Wilferd Peterson Quotes
58. Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?
Ray Kroc Quotes
For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time
you open your mouth you let men look into your mind.
Bruce Barton Quotes
It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant,
but we can't dodge a fly.
"Yesterday, I forgot how a friend hurt my feelings. Today, I forgot what
I did to make him mad."
Ariele M. Huff, The Perks of Aging: Blessings, Silver Linings, & Convenient Half-Truths
"When you mention you have a teen daughter to someone, facial
expressions turn sympathetic, as if you've just disclosed a serious
Lucie Hemmen, Parenting a Teen Girl: A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter
"By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's, I mean."
Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana.
Haters are confused admirers who can't understand why everybody else likes you.