Being Someone Else
Author: Catherine Pulsifer, ©2012
It isn’t always easy to get along with certain people no matter how hard you try.
A Difficulty
The greatest difficulty arises when you need to conform exactly to the other person’s expectations in order to keep the relationship alive. In this case, what you are doing is to become someone you are not – you are not able to be yourself or to express your true and genuine feelings, thoughts, or concerns.
The real problem with adopting this kind of attitude and characteristic is that you always have to watch everything you say, everything you do, and compromise your true self. The compromise necessary for some or any of these relationships can be a real test of how desperate you are to maintain, at the very least, some element of communication.
Is It Worth It
But, if you compromise to the extreme where you cannot be yourself, you have to ask the question, is it worth it?
One thing I have learned over the years is that to be something you are not or to pretend you are one way outwardly but totally different inwardly, or at home, or with everyone else but a few, you are causing inner emotional turmoil. And, sooner or later, when you meet with that particular person, you probably will slip up and be your real self. So, again, is it worth it?
Be Honest With Yourself
If you have to change that you are for just one other person, it probably means that you shouldn’t. If everyone takes you as you are, then if that particular person cannot accept you, it is his or her problem, his or her issue, and not yours.
If you still want to communicate with that particular person, you could try a couple of things. First of all, you can gradually introduce your true feelings into the conversation when you feel there is a right time and this time may be when they express their feelings about something that is rather non-controversial like the traffic, the weather, or the latest sports news on favorite sporting teams. Keep it light and non-confrontational.
Common Ground
Another strategy is to find common ground, if you can, where both of you have the same opinion. In this way, you will have a starting point to further communication after setting the tone in a positive agreeable way.
We Are All Different
Be real, be yourself, be honest, be open to others because we are all different but that does not mean that you take on the role like an actor every time you meet
Inspirational Quotes for Reflection:
“Telling a truth is not only a matter of character, but is also a matter of appreciating factual situations and representing them without bias.” M. K. Soni
“At the end of the day, it’s all about staying positive and focusing on YOUR talents, YOUR opportunities, and YOUR blessings.” Gene King
“Choosing to be positive has enlightened me. It has opened up more opportunities than I could have ever imagined. ” Diane Matyas
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