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Funny Poems Page 1
- Briefcase with an Engine
-A Handful of Laughter
-The Smile
-Genius I Met . . .
-Into Each Life
-A Five Minute Poem About Doughnuts
-Lay Deep Within You
-The World of Dreams
Consider the Hammer
Poet: Unknown
Consider the hammer -
It keeps its head.
It doesn't fly off the handle.
It keeps pounding away.
It finds the point,
then drives it home.
It looks at the other side, too,
and thus often clinches the matter.
It makes mistakes, but when it does,
it starts all over.
It is the only knocker in the world
That does any good.
Laughter Is A Gift
Catherine Pulsifer, © 2012
Laughter is a gift
It doesn't mean your fit
But it will soften any tension
It could be consider stress prevention.
Find a reason to laugh
Just look at funny giraffes
Watch a funny show
A transformation you will go.
Read a silly book
And laugh so others will look
Or watch some children play
They always find a yea!
The most wasted of all days
Is one where laughter is delayed.
When life gets you down
Please don't frown.
So take this wonderful gift
And don't ever be miffed
Laughter makes living
For us to be giving
"Don't let anyone become a vacuum and suck the happiness out of you - pull the plug."
Author Unknown
More Funny Quotes
Get A Transfer
Poet: Unknown
If you are on the Gloomy Line,
get a transfer.
If you're inclined to fret and pine,
get a transfer.
Get off the track of doubt and gloom,
Get on the Sunshine Track -there's room-
Get a transfer.
If you're on the Worry Train,
get a transfer.
You must not stay there and complain,
get a transfer.
The Cheerful Cars are passing through,
and there's lots of room for you-
Get a transfer.
If you're on the Grouchy Track,
get a transfer.
Just take a Happy Special back,
get a transfer.
Jump on the train and pull the rope,
That lands you at the station of
Hope -
Get a transfer.
Remember the line, "get a transfer".
Use it as a positive affirmation when things are not going as you wish.
Never let go of hope - dream, take action, and get that transfer to live the
life you wish.
Never Live
Poet: Unknown
There was a very cautious man
Who never laughed or played
He never risked, he never tried,
He never sang or prayed.
And when he on day passed away,
His insurance was denied,
For since he never really lived,
They claimed he never really died.
"Even if you are on the right track, you wil get run over if you just sit there."
Will Rogers
Funny Graduation Quotes
Humble and Grumble
Poet: Eldred Herbert
Humble and Grumble were identical twins,
And Humble was ever so meek;
Grumble did nothing but grumble all day,
Some may even call him a freak.
Humble was happy and everyone's friend,
Grumble was jealous of course;
Humble was happy to follow the Lord,
But Grumble, an immoral source.
Humble was never seen wearing a frown,
And Grumble, ne'er seen with a smile;
Humble won friends by just being himself,
But, Grumble, he won them by guile.
So Grumble, please follow Humble, your twin,
And Humble, don't grumble, I pray,
For grumble will make you like Grumble, your twin,
Please Grumble, be humble today.
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." e.e. cummings
More Funny Quotes about Life
Clowns
Poet: Wilhelmina Stitch
Chalk-white faces, spangled gowns,
Airs and graces, capering clowns!
Noses painted (reds and browns);
Look! they've fainted; foolish clowns!
East and west, cities, towns, clap with zest circus clowns.
Speak no word - verbs or nouns.
Quite absurd, much-loved clowns.
What a fall! Smiles, no frowns.
Best of all- these agile clowns.
Daddy roars, so does mother.
That clown scores, smacks his brother.
Life must bring ups and downs.
In life's ring let's be clowns!
Learn their way to make folk smile;
Dullest day, hardest mile.
In life's ring let's be clowns;
Laugh and sing at ups and downs!
"Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health." Paul E. McGhee, Ph.D.
More Inspirational Quotes
The Fraud Called Youth
Poet: Donald King
Youth thinks not of the future
For it's so brash and gay
And that time of life when it is gone
All seems so far away.
Well, I was you, would you believe
The same as most of you,
And I was out to whip the world
Just like you want to do.
Then quick as a wink I met a man
Who made me change my mind,
He had a sort of beaten look
And his face was thin and lined.
His head was balding on the top
His shoulders slightly bent;
I dared inquire of his name
And how his life was spent.
He fixed me with a tired stare.
Then he smiled ironically
While he gazed back from the looking-glass -
For the man I met was me.
"A smile confuses an approaching frown."
Funny Sayings
Take The Time
Poet: Unknown
Who learns and learns,
Nor acts on what he knows,
Is one who ploughs and ploughs,
But never takes the time to sow.
They say talk is cheap
It is easy on the street
But to succeed
You must do more than read.
Learn, and read but more important so
Is taking action and then you'll see success flow!
How and When
Poet: Unknown
We are often greatly bothered
By two fussy little men,
Who sometimes block our pathway -
Their names are How and When.
If we have a task or duty
Which we can put off a while,
And we do not go and do it -
You should see those two rogues smile!
But there is a way to beat them,
And I will tell you how:
If you have a task or duty,
Do it well, and do it now.
Two Frogs
Poet: Unknown
Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream
And must paddle to keep afloat;
But one soon tired and sank to rest
With a gurgling sigh in his throat.
The other paddled away all night,
And not a croak did he utter,
And with the coming of morning light
He rode on an island of butter.
The flies came thick to his island home
And made him a breakfast snappy.
The milkmaid shrieked and upset the pail,
And froggy hopped away happy.
We can all find a moral in this rhyme,
And should hasten at once to apply:
Success will come in the most difficult time
If we paddle and never say die!
"Most of all, learn to laugh at yourself, meet each day with a sense of humor."
Wilfred Peterson
Humor
A Funny World
Poet: Douglas Malloch
It's a funny world in a lot of ways
But the funniest things you see,
When you upward look, when you outward gaze,
Aren't funny at all to me;
And the funny thing that you think, egad,
And the funnier things you do,
Though I think them funny, I think them mad,
Aren't funny at all to you.
It's a funny thing, but a funny style
There is someone around to wear.
It's a funny world, and it makes us smile,
For the funniest folk are there.
Though we do not care for a vulgar show,
And we think it is dull and flat,
There is always a place for the folk to go
Who would go to a place like that.
It's a funny world, it's an awful joke,
And the funniest thought it brings:
There are funny things for the funny folk,
And the folk for the funny things,
It's a funny world, so it seems to me,
And your creed is a funny creed -
But a world alike, all alike, would be,
Be a funny old world indeed.
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