48 Funny Sayings

Many of these funny sayings have been around for years, but they still bring a smile to people's faces. Need a laugh then read these sayings and also find the wisdom they have to offer.


  1. A smile confuses an approaching frown.
    Smile



  2. What happens at Grandma's . . . stays at Grandma's. Saying
    Grandmother



  3. No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet.
    Grandfather



  4. While the sayings above are funny, when you become a grandparent you understand these words. Being a grandparent is one of life's hidden treasures. You will find yourself not only having fun but also being silly, laughing at things you would never have imagined. A time of life to look forward to!


  5. The Wright brothers flew right through the smoke screen of impossibility. Charles Kettering
    Inspirational Sayings



  6. Cleaning your house while your children are home is a lot like brushing your teeth with Oreos in your mouth.
    Funny Quotes



  7. Heaven grant us patience with a man in love. Rudyard Kipling
    Patience



  8. "Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off." Nicky Gumbel
    Knowledge



  9. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Chili Davis
    Growing Up



  10. Most people fail in life because they major in minor things. Tony Robbins
    Famous



  11. Laugh every day.
  12. Laugh every day.
    Laughter



  13. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
    Funny Good Morning Quotes
    While these words make us smile, they are also true. We can moan and complain about many things in our lives or we can be happy and thankful for what we have.



  14. I smile because you're my sister in law, I laugh because you married my brother.
    Happy Birthday Sister In Law



  15. Nothing improves the memory more than trying to forget.
    Memory



  16. You don't calm the waters by splashing around in them.
  17. You don't calm the waters by splashing around in them.
    Keep Calm



  18. Optimism: A cheerful frame of mind that enables a tea kettle to sing though in hot water up to its nose.
    Optimistic



  19. The easiest way to teach children the value of money is to borrow some from them.
    Children



  20. The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.
    Determination



  21. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  22. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
    Inspirational Quotes



  23. A house becomes a home when you can write, 'I love you' on the furniture.
    Home

    This is a funny quote but also one that women need to read and take to heart. When you look at the important things in life cleaning the house should not be the top priority!



  24. In the old days, if a person missed the stagecoach he was content to wait a day or two for the next one. Nowadays, we feel frustrated if we miss one section of a revolving door.
    Frustration



  25. A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
    New Years Resolution



  26. A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.
  27. A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.
    Words of Encouragement



  28. You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list, the smaller your God.
    Worry



  29. Who learns and learns, nor acts on what he knows,
    Is one who ploughs and ploughs, but never takes the time to sow.
    Funny Poems



  30. The answers to life's biggest questions are not found on Google.
    Question



  31. May your home know happiness, each room hold laughter, every window open to possibilities.
    Possibilities



  32. I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from?
  33. I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from?
    Learning



  34. Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
    Family



  35. You are born into your family and your family is born into you. No returns. No exchanges. Elizabeth Berg
    Family Bonding



  36. Families we all have them. And at times our family drives us crazy. We sometimes look at other families and from the outside, they look perfect to us, and we wonder why can't my family be like that? However, every family has issues and challenges they face. A saying I often refer to is: "Families are like quilts, although they tend to unravel at times they can be stitched back together with love." None of us are perfect and that includes our family!


  37. You should never look down on a sister except to pick her up.
    Sister



  38. Live like you golf. Don't forget to follow through.
  39. Live like you golf. Don't forget to follow through.
    Live Life

    This quote makes me smile but it also contains much wisdom. Doing what we say we are going to do is a critical factor. Just thinking about something or saying something but with no action is truly like playing golf with no clubs - you will never get a good score!



  40. Don't let anyone become a vacuum and suck the happiness out of you - pull the plug.
    Happiness

    Picture a vacuum cleaner, you can see it sucking up the dirt. When you think of people doing this to your mind you laugh. But truly the influence others have on us can and will affect our happiness. If the people in your life drain you, if you don't feel happy when you are around them, then maybe you should think about changing your friends or limiting your time with those who have a negative impact on you!



  41. It's important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.
    Funny Birthday Quotes



  42. Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure?
    Time

    Do you think of your time as a priceless treasure? Time is something we all have the same amount every day. Doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, skinny or fat, positive or negative, you do have the same amount of time as everyone else. The difference is how you use it!



  43. It is a wise father who throws away his old report cards.
    Father



  44. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
  45. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
    Age



  46. Friendship is like a bank account; you cannot continue to draw on it without making deposits.
    Friendship



  47. You are either the captain or the captive of your thoughts. Denis Waitley
    Positive Thinking



  48. That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest. Henry David Thoreau
    Wealth



  49. The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. Kin Hubbard
    Money



  50. Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship. Benjamin Franklin
    Quotes to Live By



  51. "A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon." Arnold Haultain
    Communication



  52. "Trouble knocked on the door, but hearing laughter, hurried away." Benjamin Franklin
    Trouble



  53. "When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade." Dale Carnegie
    Fate

    This famous saying by Dale Carnegie has been quoted thousands of time. People usually smile when they hear it. But if we applied the thinking of no matter what happens in our life - find the good and stay focused on the good - our lives would be different! Our attitude would be positive, our feelings about life would be happier.



  54. The presence of God in the flood is better than a ferry boat. Charles H. Spurgeon
    God



  55. Common sense is very uncommon. Horace Greeley
    Common Sense



  56. "We have a problem. 'Congratulations.' But it's a tough problem. "Then double congratulations." W. Clement Stone
    Positive Attitude

    Problems can stop us in our tracks or they can be the wheels that move us forward. Every problem is an opportunity; some say the opportunity to do your best. You see it is all in how you look at the issue - if you have a negative attitude and only see the problem then you do have trouble. But if you have a positive attitude and see the problem as an opportunity then you will find the solution and no longer have the problem! It is all up to you!



  57. The first man gets the oyster, the second man gets the shell. Andrew Carnegie Some people seem to go through life standing at the complaint counter. Fred Propp Jr
    Complaining


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Funny Quotes  |   Funny Good Morning Quotes  |   Funny Birthday Quotes  |   Funny Christmas Quotes  |   Funny Graduation Quotes  |   Funny Quotes about Life  |   Funny Proverbs  |   Funny Friendship Quotes  |   Funny Sister Quotes  |   Funny Work Quotes  |   Cute Quotes   |   Cute Life Quotes  |   Cute Love Quotes  |   Funny Poems  |   Smile Poems  |  


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