152 Funny Quotes To Make You Smile

152 Funny Quotes

Bring a smile to your face with these funny quotes - you will find laughter, humor, and a bit of wisdom in these. Our collection includes funny inspirational and motivational quotes said by some famous people and others. We all need humor in life it helps the challenges that we all sometimes face!

You may find some of them to be motivational because they challenge you thinking in a humorous way but also in a motivating way. Find that favorite funny quote and let it be your quote of the day to inspire and motivate you. Share these with other people to lighten their day!


    Short Funny Quotes

    You can't shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond! Eric Thomas

  1. You can't shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond! Eric Thomas
    Inspirational Quotes for Students



  2. The only time I feel light-hearted is when I'm in a plane at 33,000 feet. Robert Rivers
    Happy Quotes



  3. "A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks." Charles Gordy
    Short Quotes



  4. It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them. Rose MacAulay

  5. It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them. Rose MacAulay
    Cute Quotes



  6. Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours. Frank Moore Colby
    Anger



  7. There are three ways in life to become popular: be rich, be beautiful, or be funny. Jon Macks, How to Be Funny
    Happiness - Is There A Common Definition



  8. The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much.

  9. The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much. Author Unknown
    Truth




  10. I don't have a funny bone in my body; now I know why my surgeon's bills are so high. Rory R. Cuphist
    Health




  11. Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. Margaret Bonnano
    Time



  12. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. Maya Angelou
  13. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. Maya Angelou
    Attitude



  14. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. Woody Allen
    Laughter



  15. A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.  Irish Saying

  16. "A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book." Irish Quote
    Quote of the Day



  17. Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. Charles M. Schulz
    Live Life



  18. If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room. Confucius
    Smart



  19. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Phyllis Diller
  20. "A smile is a curve that sets everything straight." Phyllis Diller
    Quotes That Make You Smile



  21. Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers
    Sad Quotes about Life



  22. A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results. BC Forbes
    Determination



  23. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I'm possible!  Audrey Hepburn
  24. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn
    Possibilities



  25. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Will Rogers
    One Line Quotes on Life



  26. I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. Gandhi
  27. I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. Gandhi
    Mindset



  28. You cannot be anything if you want to be everything. Solomon Schechter
    Focus



  29. You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Rabindranath Tagore
    Action



  30. Talkers are usually more articulate than doers, since talk is their specialty. Thomas Sowell
  31. Talkers are usually more articulate than doers, since talk is their specialty. Thomas Sowell
    Actions Speak Louder Than Words Quotes



  32. I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. George Burns (at 100 years)
    Respect



  33. It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen. Brigitte Bardot
    Happy Birthday Wishes



  34. The truth can be funny but it's not funny to cover up the truth. Ryan Cooper, Difficult People
  35. The truth can be funny but it's not funny to cover up the truth. Ryan Cooper, Difficult People
    Honesty



  36. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope
    Money



  37. "A laugh is a smile that bursts." Mary H. Waldrip
    Short Positive Quotes



  38. They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they see nothing but sea.  Francis Bacon
  39. They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they see nothing but sea. Francis Bacon
    Thinking



  40. "The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine." Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Take Action



  41. The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them." Abraham Lincoln
    God



  42. Cause your facial expression to change - smile. Catherine Pulsifer

  43. Cause your facial expression to change - smile. Catherine Pulsifer
    Change



  44. We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw
    Growth



  45. Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things. Bernard Sahlins
    Meaningful



  46. Today's opportunities erase yesterday's failures. Gene Brown
  47. Today's opportunities erase yesterday's failures. Gene Brown
    Failure



  48. Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. Bill Vaughan
    Happiness



  49. A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright. Lucille Ball
    Simple Life Quotes



  50. One fails forward toward success." Charles Kettering
    Motivational Quotes for Students



  51. If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself. Irish Proverb

  52. If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself. Irish Proverbs
    Proverbs




  53. Middle age is when you can still do everything you used to do - but you decide you'll do it tomorrow. Dr. Tom Haggai
    Birthday



  54. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. Marty Allen
    Quote of The Day



  55. "Some people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five." Benjamin Franklin
    Life and Death



  56. Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. C.E.M. Joad
  57. Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. C.E.M. Joad
    Happy Birthday Quotes For Friend



  58. Funny Inspirational Quotes

  59. The shortest recorded period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain. Jane Bryant Quinn
    Self Motivation



  60. If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won't come up with a hand full of mud either. Leo Burnett

  61. If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won't come up with a hand full of mud either. Leo Burnett
    Inspirational Quotes




  62. Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, 'The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind'. Donald Rumsfeld
    Words of Encouragement for Men



  63. For a politician to complain about the press is like a ship's captain complaining about the sea. Enoch Powell
    Great Quotes about Life



  64. If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how 
amazing you can be. Maya Angelou

  65. If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be. Maya Angelou
    Amazing



  66. See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly. George Harris
    Be Yourself



  67. I don't think God put you on this earth just to make millions of dollars and ignore everything else. Chris Amundsen Helping Others



  68. You can't experience simple joys when you're living life with your hair on fire. Emily Ley
    Joy



  69. The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts. Fulton J. Sheen

  70. "The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts." Fulton J. Sheen
    Daily Inspiration




  71. If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap. Glen Buck
    Funny Quotes about Life



  72. From his neck down a man is worth a couple of dollars a day, from his neck up he is worth anything that his brain can produce. Thomas Edison
    Genius



  73. Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip. Richard Steele
  74. Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip. Richard Steele
    Gossip



  75. Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water! Eleanor Roosevelt
    Overcoming



  76. My father taught me a good lesson: Don't get to low when things go wrong. And don't get too high when things are good. Robert Perish
    Life Lessons



  77. New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy 
doing and then resolve to stop doing it.  Charlie Brooker

  78. New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it. Charlie Brooker
    New Year



  79. "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito." Bette Reese
    Funny Graduation Quotes



  80. Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. William James
    Common Sense



  81. Make Me Feel Important!
  82. Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from his neck saying, Make Me Feel Important! Never forget this when working with people. Mary Kay Ash
    Work



  83. Yoga is the fountain of youth. You're only as young as your spine is flexible. Bob Harper
    Yoga



  84. Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. George Burns
    Wise



  85. You need to be comfortable with you. Stop worrying about the couple in the corner who may or may not be looking at you funny. Willow Cross, Getting Over It
    Comfort Zone



  86. Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. 
Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed. William James
  87. Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed. William James
    Habit



  88. How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years gotten enough to eat and escaped being eaten? Logan Pearsall Smith
    Age



  89. "Chasing success is like trying to squeeze a handful of water. The tighter you squeeze, the less water you get. When you chase it, your life becomes the chase, and you become a victim of always wanting more." Wayne W. Dyer, Everyday Wisdom For Success
    Chasing Dreams



  90. Folks die to easy - they sort of fade away;
    Make a little error, and give up in dismay.
    Mabel E. Bailey, Keep Your Grit
    Poems about Perseverance



  91. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. 
  Billy Sunday
  92. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday
    Church



  93. Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? RAJ Phillips
    Humor



  94. People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election. Otto von Bismarck
    War



  95. In every dream journey there comes a moment when you have to quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Mark Batterson, Chase the Lion
    Journey



  96. You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms to full to embrace the present. Jan Glidewell
    Forgiveness



  97. Famous Funny Quotes

    You will recognize the famous people who said these quotes. People who have had success in life, and one of their secrets to success is humor!

    People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages. Benjamin Franklin

  98. People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages. Benjamin Franklin
    Depression




  99. "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." Zig Ziglar
    Motivational Quotes



  100. You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys. Joel Osteen

  101. You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys. Joel Osteen
    Words of Encouragement



  102. Without enthusiasm, your sales talk is about as dead as last year's turkey. Dale Carnegie
    Motivational Sales Quotes



  103. When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. 
 Franklin Roosevelt
  104. When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Franklin Roosevelt
    Winning



  105. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked! Muhammad Ali
    Funny Good Morning Quotes



  106. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
 Walt Disney

  107. "You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you." Walt Disney
    Funny Sayings




  108. Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed. Gandhi
    Cool



  109. You want to be a millionaire. But your values system says you believe in sleep more than grinding! Eric Thomas
    Actions Speak Louder Than Words



  110. Spring is the time of year when it is summer in the sun and 
winter in the shade. Charles Dickens

  111. Spring is the time of year when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade. Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
    Sunshine



  112. You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way. Michael Jordan
    Practice



  113. I don't want to be a genius - I have enough problems just trying to be a man. Albert Camus
    Problem



  114. Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Paulo Coelho
    Motivational Quotes About Life



  115. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain
  116. "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been." Mark Twain
    Smile



  117. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. Bill Gates
    Funny Work Quotes



  118. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights. Maya Angelou
    Funny Christmas Quotes



  119. " . . . I ask people if an elephant has ever bitten them. Most of the time people say no. But everyone has been bitten by a mosquito. It's the little things that get us." David DeNotaris
    Positive Life



  120. Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread. 
Francis Bacon
  121. Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread.
    Francis Bacon
    Random



  122. Enthusiasm is the leaping lightning, not to be measured by the horse-power of the understanding. Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Enthusiasm



  123. Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you. Jim Rohn
    Ocean



  124. An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. Winston S. Churchill
    Violence



  125. Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway. Mary Kay
    Cute Life Quotes



  126. No one has ever become poor by giving. Anne Frank
  127. No one has ever become poor by giving. Anne Frank
    Giving



  128. I am not funny. My writers were funny. My direction was funny. The situations were funny. But I am not funny. I am not funny. What I am is brave. Lucille Ball
    Courage



  129. Do not hold to what you have. It is like a ferry boat for people who want to get across waters. Once you have got across, never bear it on your back. You should head forward. Bruce Lee
    Moving Forward



  130. "Life is the movie you see through your own eyes. It makes little difference what's happening out there. It's how you take it that counts." Denis Waitley
    Inspirational Thoughts



  131. Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. Richard Bach
  132. "Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't." Richard Bach
    Famous



  133. Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies for instance. John Ruskin
    Beautiful



  134. We humans are a silly bunch. We spend half our time trying to fit in with the crowd and the other half trying to stand out from it. Nick Vujicic
    Self Esteem



  135. Can I give you a handful of laughter, a smidgen of giggles to boot, a cupful of tease and a comical sneeze, followed by a hilarious hoot. John McLeod, A Handful of Laughter
    Funny Poems



  136. Don't complain about the snow on your neighbour's roof when your own doorstep is unclean. Confucius
  137. "Don't complain about the snow on your neighbour's roof when your own doorstep is unclean." Confucius
    Complaining



  138. To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! Edgar Allan Poe
    Death



  139. He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything - that clearly points to a political career. George Bernard Shaw
    Knowledge



  140. If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, 
is an empty desk a sign?  Albert Einstein
  141. If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? Albert Einstein
    Top Ten Quotes



  142. Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right? Wayne Dyer
    Encouraging



  143. Years ago there was belief that the world was flat. People were born into that belief and they took it on faith that if they went too far from the shoreline in a boat they would fall off the earth. Columbus sailed on. Les Brown
    Believe



  144. Happen to things, don't let things happen to you. Stephen Covey
  145. Happen to things, don't let things happen to you. Stephen Covey
    Opportunity



  146. Life is a hurdle race, the winner has to cross all the hurdles and still maintain enthusiasm. M.K. Soni
    Overcoming Obstacles



  147. Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. Abraham Lincoln
    Preparation



  148. "I don't want problems solved for me. I want the fishing rod, not the fish." Yanni
    Words of Encouragement for Kids



  149. A bore is a person who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it. Henry Ford
    Clever



  150. It's always too early to quit. Norman Vincent Peale
  151. It's always too early to quit. Norman Vincent Peale
    Never Quit



  152. Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. Groucho Marx
    Fate



  153. Lower your expectations of earth. This isn't heaven, so don't expect it to be. Max Lucado
    Motivational Quotes about Life



  154. Funny Motivational Quotes

  155. Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I will give you someone who will make history. Give me someone without a goal, and I will give you a stock clerk J.C. Penny
    Goals



  156. Sports are the reason I am out of shape.  I watch them all on TV.  Thomas Sowell

  157. Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV. Thomas Sowell
    Sports



  158. Interest without activity is similar to having a vehicle that is out of gas - it won't take you anyplace. Eimantas Gabalis, How To Get Smarter
    Best Quotes



  159. Without the will or desire to achieve one is like flotsam on the oceans of time. Steven Redhead
    Willpower



  160. Why was the turkey allowed to join the band?
    Because he had the drumsticks! Hayden Fox, The Try Not To Laugh Challenge
    A Riddle



  161. Humor helps build connections and relationships in ways that few other social interactions can. Gregory Peart, You Can Be Funny and Make People Laugh
    Relationship Quotes



  162. Laughter is subjective. What’s funny is whatever makes you laugh. No questions, no arguments. If it makes you laugh, it’s funny . . . to you. Steven Kaplan, The Hidden Tools of Comedy
    Laughter Is The Best Medicine



  163. The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at
 how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come.  Nicky Gumbel

  164. The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come. Nicky Gumbel
    Giving Up



  165. The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does. Proverb
    Funny Proverbs



  166. Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision. Dick Armey
    Wealth



  167. Quality is more than important than quantity. One home run is much better than two doubles. Steve Jobs
    Quality



  168. Why hoard your troubles? They have no market value, so just throw them away. Ann Schade
  169. Why hoard your troubles? They have no market value, so just throw them away. Ann Schade
    Trouble



  170. Procrastination is an art form that is less desirable than painting a detailed landscape using a three inch wide brush. Byron Pulsifer
    Procrastination



  171. Without a plan of action to put how a dream is envisioned to play out is like pouring out of picture of water on the ground and expecting it to stay in on the surface of the ground. Catherine Pulsifer, Living The Dream
    Dream



  172. Negative people aren’t concentrating their bad energy to be shared with only you. ... Mosquitos aren’t going to bite just you; they are going to go after the easiest available blood. Barb Bailey, How to Detach from Negative People
    Negative People



  173. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin
  174. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin
    Tolerance



  175. The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it. Doris Day
    Funny Birthday Quotes



  176. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. George Carlin
    Famous Quotes about Life



  177. Turning our abilities from stagnate puddles to rushing rivers can happen when we apply ourselves to the task. Warren Philip Gates, Success and the Powerful Introvert
    Positive



  178. Our minds are like monkeys, swinging from one thought to another
 like monkeys on a tree. Debeena Harris
  179. Our minds are like monkeys, swinging from one thought to another like monkeys on a tree. As a result, we always feel as if a sense of order, balance, awareness and concentration elude us, because we are always doing, always acting. Debeena Harris, Mindfulness: Mindfulness For Beginners
    Positive Thinking



  180. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Laurence J. Peter
    Future



  181. Remember that sometimes people laugh when something is actually funny, but often they laugh when they lack the imagination to understand the situation. John Barrett, SoS-Life Enhancement
    Imagination



  182. One of the most successful ways companies get the consumer's attention is by presenting the product in a funny or emotional way. Arlene Battishill, Retail Shock Therapy
    Success



  183. Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours. 
   Doug Larsen
  184. Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours. Doug Larsen
    Goal Setting



  185. Build on what makes you different from your competition. . . You need to be the red tree in the forest. Nick Maley, The Do or Do Not Outlook
    Graduation



  186. To Retirement! It's nice to get out of the rat race, But you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret
    Retirement



  187. "You only need listen to yourselves. It reminds me of an old proverb: 'If and When were planted, and Nothing grew'." Catherine Pulsifer, If and When Were Planted
    Listening



  188. "It is difficult, but not impossible, to conduct strictly honest business." Mahatma Gandhi
    Motivational Quotes for Work



  189. The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. 
 Bill Copeland
  190. The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. Bill Copeland
    Life Goals Quotes



  191. Visualize something totally funny or crazy! This will instantly change how you feel because you can't visualize two things at the same time. Mark Snyder, Developing Good Habits
    Vision



  192. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings. Dave Barry
    Achievement



  193. A funny thing happens when we start keeping promises to ourselves - we become unstoppable.
  Ken Fite
  194. A funny thing happens when we start keeping promises to ourselves - we become unstoppable. Ken Fite, The Dash
    Purpose



  195. I am not an advocate of pity parties. They allow you to wallow in misery and drag yourself even further into the depths of woe. But sometimes having a good cry is like changing the oil in your car. You got 3000 miles out of that batch, now you have 3000 miles to go before another. Sandra Bullock Smith, Trading Places
    Positive Attitude



  196. Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. Oscar Wilde
    New Year Resolution Quotes



  197. To be taught to read -what is the use of that, if you know not whether what you read is false or true? John Ruskin
    Truth



Related:
Funny Family Quotes

Funny Sayings

Funny Good Morning Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny Christmas Quotes

Funny Graduation Quotes

Funny Quotes about Life

Funny Proverbs

Funny Friendship Quotes

Funny Sister Quotes

Funny Work Quotes

Cute Quotes

Cute Life Quotes

Cute Love Quotes

Funny Poems

Smile Poems



We hope you have enjoyed our collection of funny quotes and that they have brought a smile to your face. Share them with other people who could use a smile and a bit of encouragement this day! There is a famous quote said by e. e. cummings, "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."


More Quotes to Make You Smile and Inspire You


Words of Wisdom  |   Poems   |   Monthly Calendar - Daily Inspirational Quotes  |   Thought For The Day  | Contact Us  |   About Us  |   Disclaimer   |   Disclosure  |   Privacy Policy Words of Wisdom | 




More To Explore