Bring a smile to the retiree's face with these funny retirement quotes.
Humourous words and funny phrases about retirement but ones full of wisdom to
inspire and encourage!
Share these funny quotes and sayings with new and old retirees!
No more alarm clocks for you - you can go back to sleep or get up - it is entirely up to you!
Quote of The Day
"Working people have alot of bad habits,
but the worst of these is work."
"I am so busy since I have retired, I may have to go back to
work to get a rest."
What do you call a person who is happy on Monday?
"We have no porch, no rocking chair - and no time.
My biggest need is a calendar because there are so many things to do.
"I'm not retiring. I am graduating. Today is my graduation day. Retirement means that you'll just go
ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain't going to happen."
Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it.
Retirement . . . is when you stop living at work and begin working at living.
"The money's no better in retirement but the hours are!"
Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey,
I'm home, forever."
"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working."
Funny Work Quotes
Happiness is being like you - retired!
Others will keep working because the "gold" in our so-called
doesn't have to come from watching sunsets.
Words of Encouragement
"I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy."
I am a free man. I feel as light as a feather.
Javier Perez De Cuellar
"Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it."
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles."
You can compare a person's retirement partly to that of an automobile's
or any other device. There comes a time when you have to slow down
or completely stop doing what you've been doing for the past 20 or 30 years
and take a well-deserved break."
Adrian J.Williams, Retirement: The Ultimate Retirement Planning Guide!
Take A Break
"The old notion of retirement is dead. It is no longer a day
in the distant future when, on reaching your sixty-fifth birthday,
you hang up your suit and never return to the office again."
Martin Bamford, How to Retire 10 Years Early
"When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance,
his colleagues generally present him with a watch."
Funny Quotes about Life
"When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income."
Chi Chi Rodriguez
"Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended
to do when you were still working."
"I work harder now that I have retired from corporate life,
than when I actually worked, but I love it."
"There is no need to be bound by convention, push the envelope,
do it weird, do it different, but most of all do it fun! Be that cigar
chomping rock''n'roll granny if it takes your fancy."
Stella Rheingold, 101 Fun Things to do in Retirement
"A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell 'em to get a life."
You are a person I really admire, because you are a person who gets to retire.
"Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy
it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money."
"You've heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you're looking wonderful."
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
"Retirement is still a perfectly good word, but we need to rein in its usage
now that its original meaning is no longer all that relevant because
people are living longer, healthier, more active lives."
Mike Drak, Victory Lap Retirement
"Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working,
then tired of not."