200 Funny Quotes about Life
Life has its funny moments. Let these funny quotes about life remind you
of such times but also you can read between the lines and find the wisdom that
"I've met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you - you're 20 minutes."
Life must bring ups and downs.
In life's ring let's be clowns!
Learn their way to make folk smile;
Dullest day, hardest mile.
Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.
"Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes
her life is more inspirational than listening
to a fitness coach with a perfect body."
Martin Meadows, How to Think Bigger
"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
21st Birthday Quotes plus 30th, 40th, 50th
Without Sunday, I wouldn't know when to put on the brakes of a hurtling life.
Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
Martin Luther King Jr.
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Cute Life Quotes
"Running a multimillion dollar business can feel like a piece of cake
when facing a defiant and dramatic teenage daughter."
Colleen O'Grady, Dial Down the Drama
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the
way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage,
and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have
was never large enough to cover...."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Motivational Quotes about Life
"When science finally locates the center of the universe,
some people will be surprised to learn they're not it."
"I have never developed indigestion from eating my words."
Words of Encouragement
When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade."
Funny Graduation Quotes
Pursue, keep up with, circle round and round your life,
as a dog does his master's chaise. Do what you love.
Know your own bone, gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still.
Henry David Thoreau
"A lot of people think the whole purpose of life is just to collect stuff.
You've seen the bumper sticker: 'He who dies with the most
toys, wins.' The truth is, 'He who dies with the most toys ... still dies!'
"On his seventy-fifth birthday a photographer said: 'I hope, sir, that I will shoot
your picture on your hundredth birthday.' Churchill answered: 'I don't see why
not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.'"
William Manchester, The Last Lion
"Lucille Ball taught me that the best comedy need never be cruel to be funny."
Marie Osmond, The Key Is Love
Lucille Ball Quotes
"Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see
how far you get. The same goes for life. Look forward!"
Martin Henderson, Fatherhood
"It's funny, I spent the first half of my life desperately trying not
to become my mother, and now I am spending the
second half of my life desperately hoping to become half
the woman that she is."
Helen C. Escott, I Am Funny Like That
"Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code."
Jelani Daniel, King of Quotes
Quotes about Taking Risks
Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old.
Famous Quotes about Life
If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play;
and z is keeping your mouth shut.
Albert Einstein Quotes
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.
"Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop
a moving train; it's not easy."
Joseph R. Ferrari, . Still Procrastinating
"Chairs were created because someone, somewhere, wanted to solve
a big problem: sitting on rocks causes sore bottoms."
Bill Burnett, Designing Your Life
"An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it."
Don McArt, The Mental Makeover
"The only time I don't have any problems in this world is when
I am already six feet below the ground."
James Jason, Positive Thinking
"When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get.
I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. . . don't complain about the mud!"
Hyacinth Mottley, Words of Wisdom
"People tell me, 'You're such an optimist.' Am I an optimist? An optimist
says the glass is half full. A pessimist says the glass is half empty.
A survivalist is practical. He says, 'Call it what you want, but just fill the glass.'
I believe in filling the glass."
Louis Zamperini, Don't Give Up, Don't Give In
Anxiety in human life is what squeaking and grinding are in machinery that is not oiled. In life, trust is the oil.
Henry Ward Beecher
Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
Live in such a way that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
"To be successful, regardless of the field, one needs to be a participant
in the field of battle, rather than a spectator."
Charles Duncan, 5-minute Habits
"Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city.
If you clearly understand what the goal is,
you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address."
Thomas Abreu, Science of Success
"He has a heart of gold - only harder."
"For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable
and sometimes wild."
Ravindranath Jayaratne, The Power of your Future
You can complain about the direction of your life all you want,
but until you sit in the driver’s seat and begin to drive yourself,
you aren't going to get where you want to go!
"Life without Christ is like a vacuum cleaner without the electrical electrical
cord plugged in. It has no power to suck up the dirt."
Don Wilton, A Hope and a Future
"The successful know that the road to success is always under construction;
they understand the roughness of it and never expected it to be smooth."
Hernert O Nobleman, The Filigree of Success
"Life is short. Eat dessert first."
"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book."
"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant."
Robert Louis Stevenson
"If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
W. Somerset Maugham
Poems about Life
"The world is plentiful with honey, but only the humble bee can collect it."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected,
let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!"
Russel H. Conwell
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them."
"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."
"Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from
rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone."
Ted Robbins, Time Management
"A turkey never voted for an early Christmas."
Irish Quotes and Saying
You may plan to write a book some day, but you are living a book every day.
There is no such thing as a typical granny. Old-fashioned picture books
might suggest that she's a comfortable old body in a flowery pinny,
grey hair piled in a bun as she knits baby bonnets - but no
grandma has looked like that since 1923.
Flic Everett, Help! I'm a Granny
Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?
For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time
you open your mouth you let men look into your mind.
Bruce Barton Quotes
It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant,
but we can't dodge a fly.
When I hit Grade 7, I began to understand the difference between
those who had money and those who didn't have as much.
Shannon Lee Simmons, Worry-Free Money
A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.
"When you mention you have a teen daughter to someone, facial
expressions turn sympathetic, as if you've just disclosed a serious
Lucie Hemmen, Parenting a Teen Girl
Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong.
"By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's, I mean."
Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana.
Haters are confused admirers who can't understand why everybody else likes you.