74 Funny Quotes about Life

Life has its funny moments. Let these funny quotes about life remind you of such times but also you can read between the lines and find the wisdom that they offer.


  1. "I've met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you - you're 20 minutes." Jan Sterling
    Tolerance



  2. Life must bring ups and downs.
    In life's ring let's be clowns!
    Learn their way to make folk smile;
    Dullest day, hardest mile.
    Wilhelmina Stitch
    Funny Poems



  3. Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. Ray Kroc
    Motivational Quotes



  4. "Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body." Martin Meadows, How to Think Bigger
    Inspirational Quotes



  5. I guess we do all become our Mothers eventually and we have daughters like ourselves. Helen C. Escott, I Am Funny Like That
    Mother Daughter Quotes



  6. A cousin is a person who knows all of your warts and faults yet has a heart filled with love for all those like me that stumble upon the way. Happy birthday! Byron Pulsifer
    Happy Birthday Cuz



  7. If the grass is greener on the other side it's probably getting better care. Earl Nightingale
    Short Quotes



  8. "When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it." Bernard Bailey
    Funny Quotes



  9. The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.  Madeleine L'Engle
  10. "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been." Madeleine L'Engle
    Inspirational Sayings



  11. "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." Mark Twain
    21st Birthday Quotes plus 30th, 40th, 50th
    Every parent can relate to this saying. While it appears funny, it has a lot of wisdom in it.



  12. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
    Martin Luther King Jr.
    Pain



  13. Without Sunday, I wouldn't know when to put on the brakes of a hurtling life. Byron Pulsifer
    Sunday Quotes



  14. Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. Carl Sandburg
  15. Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. Carl Sandburg
    Inspirational Quotes about Life and Struggles
    A good analogy. Living life has its ups and downs, sad times and happy times, challenging times and easy times!



  16. "Running a multimillion dollar business can feel like a piece of cake when facing a defiant and dramatic teenage daughter." Colleen O'Grady, Dial Down the Drama
    Daughter



  17. There is more to life than increasing its speed. Mahatma Gandhi
    Cute Life Quotes



  18. "I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights." Maya Angelou
    Character



  19. "Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover...." Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Motivational Quotes about Life



  20. I have never developed indigestion from eating my words. Winston Churchill
  21. "I have never developed indigestion from eating my words." Winston Churchill
    Words of Encouragement



  22. Pursue, keep up with, circle round and round your life, as a dog does his master's chaise. Do what you love. Know your own bone, gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still. Henry David Thoreau
    Encouraging



  23. When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade."
    Dale Carnegie
    Funny Graduation Quotes
    How many times have we heard this saying. The first time it may have made you smile, but when you think about life there are many times that our attitude will determine whether we see a lemon or we see lemonade.



  24. "A lot of people think the whole purpose of life is just to collect stuff. You've seen the bumper sticker: 'He who dies with the most toys, wins.' The truth is, 'He who dies with the most toys ... still dies!' Rick Warren
    Purpose



  25. Life's a tough proposition but the first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner
  26. Life's a tough proposition but the first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner
    Funny Birthday Quotes



  27. "On his seventy-fifth birthday a photographer said: 'I hope, sir, that I will shoot your picture on your hundredth birthday.' Churchill answered: 'I don't see why not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.'" William Manchester, The Last Lion
    Birthday



  28. "Lucille Ball taught me that the best comedy need never be cruel to be funny." Marie Osmond, The Key Is Love
    Lucille Ball Quotes



  29. "Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see how far you get. The same goes for life. Look forward!" Martin Henderson, Fatherhood
    Future
    Great life advice! Like the saying goes, "you can't change the past but you can change the future."



  30. "It's funny, I spent the first half of my life desperately trying not to become my mother, and now I am spending the second half of my life desperately hoping to become half the woman that she is." Helen C. Escott, I Am Funny Like That
    Mother



  31. Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code. Jelani Daniel
  32. "Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code." Jelani Daniel, King of Quotes
    Quotes about Taking Risks



  33. Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old.
    Abraham Lincoln
    Famous Quotes about Life



  34. If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
    Albert Einstein Quotes



  35. I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. Mother Teresa
    Trust



  36. Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop a moving train; it's not easy. Joseph R. Ferrari
  37. "Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop a moving train; it's not easy." Joseph R. Ferrari, Still Procrastinating
    Procrastination



  38. "Chairs were created because someone, somewhere, wanted to solve a big problem: sitting on rocks causes sore bottoms." Bill Burnett, Designing Your Life
    Problem
    Remember every problem has a solution. Every invention solves a problem.



  39. "An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it." Don McArt, The Mental Makeover
    Learning



  40. Anxiety in human life is what squeaking and grinding are in machinery that is not oiled. In life, trust is the oil. Henry Ward Beecher
    Anxiety



  41. "The only time I don't have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground." James Jason, Positive Thinking
    Challenges
    After reading this quote, be thankful for the problems in life that you have.



  42. When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. Hyacinth Mottley
  43. "When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. . . don't complain about the mud!" Hyacinth Mottley, Words of Wisdom
    Prayer



  44. "People tell me, 'You're such an optimist.' Am I an optimist? An optimist says the glass is half full. A pessimist says the glass is half empty. A survivalist is practical. He says, 'Call it what you want, but just fill the glass.' I believe in filling the glass." Louis Zamperini, Don't Give Up, Don't Give In
    Optimistic



  45. Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. Og Mandino
    Listening



  46. Live in such a way that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. Will Rogers
    Gossip
    Funny, but wise!



  47. "To be successful, regardless of the field, one needs to be a participant in the field of battle, rather than a spectator." Charles Duncan, 5-minute Habits
    Success



  48. "He has a heart of gold - only harder." Adolphe Menjou
    Kindness



  49. "Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address." Thomas Abreu, Science of Success
    Goals



    For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable and sometimes wild. Ravindranath Jayaratne
  50. "For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable and sometimes wild." Ravindranath Jayaratne, The Power of your Future
    Life



  51. You can complain about the direction of your life all you want, but until you sit in the driverís seat and begin to drive yourself, you aren't going to get where you want to go! Les Brown
    Complaining
    Complaining gets you no where, it solves no problems, it changes nothing, it doesn't make you feel better. Taking action will result in changes in your life.



  52. "Life without Christ is like a vacuum cleaner without the electrical cord plugged in. It has no power to suck up the dirt." Don Wilton, A Hope and a Future
    Hope



  53. "Life is short. Eat dessert first."
    Cute Quotes
    Eating dessert first is really not a healthy thing to do. The point is do the things you love, life really is short and the older you get the more you realize this fact.



  54. "The successful know that the road to success is always under construction; they understand the roughness of it and never expected it to be smooth." Hernert O Nobleman, The Filigree of Success
    Successful



  55. "There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep." Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Children



  56. "I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book." Groucho Marx
    Books



  57. Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant.  Robert Louis Stevenson
  58. "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant." Robert Louis Stevenson
    Action



  59. "If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest." Benjamin Franklin
    Knowledge



  60. It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. W. Somerset Maugham
    Poems about Life
    Do your best, be the best and think the best. Your own thoughts can determine the outcome of your life. Don't doubt, have self confidence. Learn from your mistakes. Look at failures as learning opportunities. Keep moving forward with positive thoughts.



  61. "The world is plentiful with honey, but only the humble bee can collect it." Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Wise



  62. "So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!" Russel H. Conwell
    Smile



  63. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Mark Twain
  64. "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Mark Twain
    Famous



  65. We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery. H.G. Wells
    Miracle



  66. Life is the only game where the object of the game is to figure out what the rules are. Tom Seeley
    Meaningful



  67. When you found out how to take it, life wasn't half bad. Willa Cather
    Short Inspirational Quotes



  68. Good health and good sense are two of life's greatest blessings. Publius
    Health



  69. "A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." Elbert Hubbard
    Work



  70. "Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone." Ted Robbins, Time Management
    Time



  71. A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. Irish Saying
  72. "A turkey never voted for an early Christmas." Irish Quotes and Saying
    Christmas



  73. "If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." Linda Sunshine
    Sister



  74. You may plan to write a book some day, but you are living a book every day. Wilferd Peterson
    Live Life



  75. There is no such thing as a typical granny. Old-fashioned picture books might suggest that she's a comfortable old body in a flowery pinny, grey hair piled in a bun as she knits baby bonnets - but no grandma has looked like that since 1923. Flic Everett, Help! I'm a Granny
    Grandmother



  76. When I hit Grade 7, I began to understand the difference between those who had money and those who didn't have as much. Shannon Lee Simmons, Worry-Free Money
    Money



  77. Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?
    Ray Kroc
    Growth



  78. For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth you let men look into your mind.
    Bruce Barton Quotes



  79. It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can't dodge a fly. Josh Billings
    Worry
    This quote reminds me of the saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff and it is all small stuff." Don't waste your days worrying about the little things!



  80. A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. Muhammad Ali
  81. A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. Muhammad Ali
    Age



  82. "When you mention you have a teen daughter to someone, facial expressions turn sympathetic, as if you've just disclosed a serious medical issue." Lucie Hemmen, Parenting a Teen Girl
    Sympathy



  83. Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong. Anthony Eden
    Experience



  84. "By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's, I mean." Mark Twain
    Adversity



  85. Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana. Bill Gates
    Frustration



  86. Haters are confused admirers who can't understand why everybody else likes you. Paulo Coelho
    Hurt



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