65 Funny Quotes about Life

Life has its funny moments. Let these funny quotes about life remind you of such times but also you can read between the lines and find the wisdom that they offer.

1.     "I've met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you - you're 20 minutes." Jan Sterling
Tolerance     |    

2.     Life must bring ups and downs.
In life's ring let's be clowns!
Learn their way to make folk smile;
Dullest day, hardest mile.
Wilhelmina Stitch
Funny Poems     |    

3.     Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.
Ray Kroc
Motivational Quotes     |    

4.     "Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body."
Martin Meadows, How to Think Bigger: Aim Higher, Get More Motivated, and Accomplish Big Things
Inspirational Quotes  |  

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.  Madeleine L'Engle
5.    "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."
Madeleine L'Engle
Inspirational Sayings  |  

6.    "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
Mark Twain
21st Birthday Quotes plus 30th, 40th, 50th

7.    Without Sunday, I wouldn't know when to put on the brakes of a hurtling life.
Byron Pulsifer
Sunday Quotes  |  

8.    Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

Martin Luther King Jr. Quotes

9.    "As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her."
Erma Bombeck
Believe     |    

10.    "Running a multimillion dollar business can feel like a piece of cake when facing a defiant and dramatic teenage daughter."
Colleen O'Grady, Dial Down the Drama: Reducing Conflict and Reconnecting with Your Teenage Daughter - A Guide for Mothers Everywhere
Daughter  |  

11.    "I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
Maya Angelou
Character  |  

12.    "Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover...."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Motivational Quotes about Life  |  

13.    "Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked fantastic Ö The problem was, so did her date."
Deion Sanders
Graduation |  

14.    "When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it."
Bernard Bailey
Funny Quotes  |  

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words. Winston Churchill
15.    "I have never developed indigestion from eating my words."
Winston Churchill
Words of Encouragement  |  

16.    When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade."

Dale Carnegie Quotes

17.    Pursue, keep up with, circle round and round your life, as a dog does his master's chaise. Do what you love. Know your own bone, gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still.
Henry David Thoreau
Encouraging  |  

18.    "A lot of people think the whole purpose of life is just to collect stuff. You've seen the bumper sticker: 'He who dies with the most toys, wins.' The truth is, 'He who dies with the most toys ... still dies!'
Rick Warren
Purpose  |  

19.    "On his seventy-fifth birthday a photographer said: 'I hope, sir, that I will shoot your picture on your hundredth birthday.' Churchill answered: 'I don't see why not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.'"
William Manchester, The Last Lion: Volume 1: Winston Churchill: Visions of Glory, 1874 - 1932
Birthday  |  

20.    "Lucille Ball taught me that the best comedy need never be cruel to be funny."
Marie Osmond, The Key Is Love: My Mother's Wisdom, A Daughter's Gratitude
Lucille Ball Quotes     |    

21.    "Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see how far you get. The same goes for life. Look forward!"
Martin Henderson, Fatherhood: A Message to Men
Future     |    

22.    "It's funny, I spent the first half of my life desperately trying not to become my mother, and now I am spending the second half of my life desperately hoping to become half the woman that she is."
Helen C. Escott, I Am Funny Like That: A Funny Look At Life
Mother     |    

Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code. Jelani Daniel
23.    "Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code."
Jelani Daniel, King of Quotes
Quotes about Taking A Risk     |    

24.    Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old.

Abraham Lincoln Quotes

25.    If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.

Albert Einstein Quotes

26.    I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.
Mother Teresa
Trust     |    

27.    "Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop a moving train; it's not easy."
Joseph R. Ferrari, . Still Procrastinating: The No Regrets Guide to Getting It Done
Procrastination     |    

28.    "Chairs were created because someone, somewhere, wanted to solve a big problem: sitting on rocks causes sore bottoms."
Bill Burnett, Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life
Problem     |    

29.    "An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it."
Don McArt, The Mental Makeover
Learning   |

30.    "The only time I don't have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground."
James Jason, Positive Thinking: 365 Daily Positive Affirmations
Challenges   |  

When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. Hyacinth Mottley
31.    "When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. . . don't complain about the mud!"
Hyacinth Mottley, Words of Wisdom - Words of Faith
Prayer   |  

32.    "People tell me, 'You're such an optimist.' Am I an optimist? An optimist says the glass is half full. A pessimist says the glass is half empty. A survivalist is practical. He says, 'Call it what you want, but just fill the glass.' I believe in filling the glass."
Louis Zamperini, Don't Give Up, Don't Give In: Lessons from an Extraordinary Life
Optimistic   |  

33.    "Make allowances for your friends' imperfections as readily as you do for your own."
H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Instruction Book Volume II
Friend     |    

34.    Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
Og Mandino
Listening     |    

35.    "A mother is the best friend God ever gave."
Christian Nestell Bovee
God     |    

36.    "To be successful, regardless of the field, one needs to be a participant in the field of battle, rather than a spectator."
Charles Duncan, 5-minute Habits
Success  |  

37.    "Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address."
Thomas Abreu, Science of Success
Goals   |  

38.    "He has a heart of gold - only harder."
Adolphe Menjou
Kindness   |  

For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable and sometimes wild. Ravindranath Jayaratne
39.    "For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable and sometimes wild."
Ravindranath Jayaratne, The Power of your Future
Quotes about Life  |  

40.    You can complain about the direction of your life all you want, but until you sit in the driverís seat and begin to drive yourself, you aren't going to get where you want to go!
Les Brown
Complaining  |  

41.    "Life without Christ is like a vacuum cleaner without the electrical electrical cord plugged in. It has no power to suck up the dirt."
Don Wilton, A Hope and a Future
Hope  |  

42.    "The successful know that the road to success is always under construction; they understand the roughness of it and never expected it to be smooth."
Hernert O Nobleman, The Filigree of Success
The Road To Success   |  

43.    "Life is short. Eat dessert first."

Live Each Day |    

44.    "There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Children  |    

45.    "I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book."
Groucho Marx
Books |    

46.    "You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend.
Edgar A. Guest
Wealth |    

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant.  Robert Louis Stevenson
47.    "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant."
Robert Louis Stevenson
Action |    

48.    "If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
Benjamin Franklin
Knowledge |    

49.    It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
W. Somerset Maugham
Poems about Life |    

50.    "The world is plentiful with honey, but only the humble bee can collect it."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wise |    

51.    "So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!"
Russel H. Conwell
Smiles Are Sunshine  |    

52.    "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Mark Twain
Famous     |    

53.    "A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them."
Elbert Hubbard

54.    "If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."
Linda Sunshine
Sister    |    

55.    "Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone."
Ted Robbins, Time Management: Master Time Management and Boost Your Success
Time    |    

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. Irish Saying
56.    "A turkey never voted for an early Christmas."
Irish Quotes and Saying
Christmas    |    

57.    You may plan to write a book some day, but you are living a book every day.

Wilferd Peterson Quotes

58.    Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?

Ray Kroc Quotes

59.    For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth you let men look into your mind.

Bruce Barton Quotes

60.    It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can't dodge a fly.
Josh Billings
Worry   |    

61.    "Yesterday, I forgot how a friend hurt my feelings. Today, I forgot what I did to make him mad."
Ariele M. Huff, The Perks of Aging: Blessings, Silver Linings, & Convenient Half-Truths
Age    |    

62.    "When you mention you have a teen daughter to someone, facial expressions turn sympathetic, as if you've just disclosed a serious medical issue."
Lucie Hemmen, Parenting a Teen Girl: A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter
Sympathy |  

63.    "By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's, I mean."
Mark Twain
Adversity  |  

64.    Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana.
Bill Gates
Frustration  |  

65.     Haters are confused admirers who can't understand why everybody else likes you.
Paulo Coelho
Hurt  |  

More Funny Quotes about Life:    Funny Quotes about Life Page 2   Funny Quotes about Life Page 3   Funny Quotes about Life Page 4   Funny Quotes about Life Page 5   Funny Quotes about Life Page 6  

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