35 Funny Graduation Quotes

35 Funny Graduation Quotes

Funny graduation quotes to bring a smile to the face of the new graduate. Share these with the new graduates, also some cute quotes to share in a friends yearbook to make them smile. Amusing words for the one who has worked so hard to see this day.

Funny but also inspirational and full of words of wisdom for the graduate as they start the next chapter of their life. A chuckle is always a great way to let the graduate know how proud you are of them.

    If you think you are too small to be effective, 
you have never been in bed with a mosquito. Bette Reese

  1. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” Bette Reese
    Make A Difference
    A funny image, but one that is great to inspire confidence to the new graduate!
  2. Patience! The windmill never strays in search of the wind. Andy J. Sklivis
    Patience
  3. “My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives. The stories you are about to live are the ones you will be telling your children, and grandchildren, and therapists.” Lin-Manuel Miranda
    Graduation
  4. Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together.
  Napoleon Hill

  5. “Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together.” Napoleon Hill
    Responsibility
    It is important for the new graduate to realize if they want big pay then with that comes responsibility. Any leader reading this may think thisquote is funny but also very true.
  6. “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” Muhammad Ali
    Inspirational Quotes for Students
  7. I mean we all fly. Once you leave the ground, you fly. 
Some people fly longer than others. Michael Jordan

  8. “I mean we all fly. Once you leave the ground, you fly. Some people fly longer than others.” Michael Jordan
    Funny Quotes
    While Michael is speaking of basketball, in life there are times when we all fly and graduation is one of them, we feel like we are on top of the world. Remind the new graduate to keep that feeling!
  9. “Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked fantastic � The problem was, so did her date.” Deion Sanders
    Funny Quotes about Life
  10. “Nothing is going to be handed to you. You have to make things happen.” Florence Griffith-Joyner
    Short Quotes
    Funny but true!
  11. It is not the size of the arena in which you find yourself that counts; it is what you do with it. Dr. Irene C. Kassorla

  12. “It is not the size of the arena in which you find yourself that counts; it is what you do with it.” Dr. Irene C. Kassorla, Go For It!
    Inspirational Quotes
  13. If learning is like a sponge, don’t ever stop soaking it up. Never stop learning. Catherine Pulsifer
    Short Graduation Quotes
  14. Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
 Will Rogers

  15. Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
    Moving Forward
  16. “Struggling to decide what to do after graduation is, and always will be, a sort of rite of passage to the next phase of your life.” Gloria Davidson, When Graduation Spits You Out
    College Graduation
  17. “Don’t ever rob a bank. Enjoy life. Have fun. Choose to be happy now; don’t wait until you’re ‘successful,’ because honestly, I was as happy when we were unemployed and scrounging around for a buck.” Peter Farrelly
    Happy
    Funny but wise words!
  18. Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
  Thomas Dewar

  19. “Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.” Thomas Dewar
    Funny Poems
  20. “It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o’clock.” Woody Allen
    Future
  21. Remember, when it come to applying for jobs, books ARE judged by 
their cover!  Patricia Akins

  22. “Remember, when it come to applying for jobs, books ARE judged by their cover!” Patricia Akins, Things They Don’t Teach You In High School
    High School Graduation
  23. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” Erma Bombeck
    Famous
    Parents would read this and smile, but also agree with its thought.
  24. “Applying common sense helps us find simple and reasonable ways of doing things. Many refer to this as the KISS method, ‘Keep It Simple Simon.'” Henry Adkins, Common Sense:Your Way To Success
    Common Sense
  25. We don't stop going to school when we graduate.  Carol Burnett

  26. “We don’t stop going to school when we graduate.” Carol Burnett
    Poems about Life
  27. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” Sarah Brown
    Success
  28. “Each year at graduation, I am obliged to offer a few ‘brief remarks,’ which are usually not as brief as they should be.” James E. Ryan, Wait, What
    Communication
  29. If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
  Milton Berle

  30. “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” Milton Berle
    Opportunity
    These funny words by this famous comedian Milton Berle are ones that are good advice.
  31. “Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors!” Louisa May Alcott
    Life
  32. If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.
  Frank A. Clark

  33. “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” Frank A. Clark
    Poems about Life
  34. “It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste.” Henry Ford
    Time
  35. Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.
   Ralph Waldo Emerson

  36. “Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Words of Encouragement
    A funny but true quote.
  37. “Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.” Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Encouraging Poem
  38. “The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after.” Newton D. Baker
    Learning
  39. Be who you are and say what you feel   Dr. Seuss

  40. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Dr. Seuss
    Be Yourself
  41. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success.” Robert Orben
    Success Poem
  42. “The world does not pay for what a person knows. It pays for what a person does with what she knows.” Hyacinth Mottley, Words of Wisdom
    Actions Speak Louder Than Words
  43. A river cuts through rock not because of its power
 but because of its persistence. Proverb

  44. “A river cuts through rock not because of its power but because of its persistence.” Proverb
    Persistence
  45. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” Garry Trudeau
    Cute Quotes
  46. “Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent Return on Energy!” Brian Tracy
    Positive Energy Quotes
  47. “The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.” Doug Larson
    Experience

Related:
Yearbook Quotes

Graduation Poems

Graduation Quotes

College Graduation Quotes

High School Graduation Quotes

Graduation Congratulations Quotes

Short Graduation Quotes

Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes about Life

Cute Quotes

Cute Life Quotes

We hope these funny graduation quotes are ones that you have shared with others. While graduation is a serious time, there is also a good time to remind you other that life after graduation is serious but there also should always be time for laughter and fun.

When you look at sharing thoughts with others especially in their yearbooks, or in a congratulation card, a funny but inspirational graduation quote is great to use.

          More Quotes to Encourage and Inspire

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