33 Funny Graduation Quotes

Bring a smile to the face of the new graduate by sharing these funny graduation quotes. Funny quotes but also inspirational and full of words of wisdom for the graduate as they start the next chapter of their life.

  1. "My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives. The stories you are about to live are the ones you will be telling your children, and grandchildren, and therapists." Lin-Manuel Miranda

  2. "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito." Bette Reese
    Make A Difference

  3. "Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together." Napoleon Hill

  4. "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." Muhammad Ali
    Inspirational Quotes for Students

  5. "I mean we all fly. Once you leave the ground, you fly. Some people fly longer than others." Michael Jordan
    Funny Quotes

  6. "Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked fantastic The problem was, so did her date." Deion Sanders
    Funny Quotes about Life

  7. "Nothing is going to be handed to you. You have to make things happen." Florence Griffith-Joyner
    Short Quotes

  8. It is not the size of the arena in which you find yourself that counts; it is what you do with it. Dr. Irene C. Kassorla
  9. "It is not the size of the arena in which you find yourself that counts; it is what you do with it." Dr. Irene C. Kassorla, Go For It!
    Inspirational Quotes

  10. If learning is like a sponge, don't ever stop soaking it up. Never stop learning. Catherine Pulsifer
    Short Graduation Quotes

  11. Even if you are on the right track, you wil get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
    Moving Forward

  12. "Struggling to decide what to do after graduation is, and always will be, a sort of rite of passage to the next phase of your life." Gloria Davidson, When Graduation Spits You Out
    College Graduation Quotes

  13. "Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open." Thomas Dewar
    Funny Poems

  14. "Don't ever rob a bank. Enjoy life. Have fun. Choose to be happy now; don't wait until you're 'successful,' because honestly, I was as happy when we were unemployed and scrounging around for a buck." Peter Farrelly

  15. "It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock." Woody Allen

  16. "Remember, when it come to applying for jobs, books ARE judged by their cover!" Patricia Akins, Things They Don't Teach You In High School
    High School Graduation Quotes

  17. "Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed." Erma Bombeck

  18. "Applying common sense helps us find simple and reasonable ways of doing things. Many refer to this as the KISS method, 'Keep It Simple Simon.'" Henry Adkins, Common Sense:Your Way To Success
    Common Sense

  19. We don't stop going to school when we graduate.  Carol Burnett
  20. "We don't stop going to school when we graduate." Carol Burnett
    Poems about Life

  21. "The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen." Sarah Brown

  22. "Each year at graduation, I am obliged to offer a few 'brief remarks,' which are usually not as brief as they should be." James E. Ryan, Wait, What

  23. "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." Milton Berle

  24. "Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors!" Louisa May Alcott
    Life Quotes

  25. "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." Frank A. Clark
    Poems about Life

  26. "It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste." Henry Ford

  27. "Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Words of Encouragement

  28. "Just remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets." Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Encouraging Poem

  29. Be who you are and say what you feel   Dr. Seuss
  30. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss
    Be Yourself

  31. "The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after." Newton D. Baker

  32. "A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success." Robert Orben
    Success Poem

  33. "The world does not pay for what a person knows. It pays for what a person does with what she knows." Hyacinth Mottley, Words of Wisdom
    Actions Speak Louder Than Words Quotes

  34. "A river cuts through rock not because of its power but because of its persistence." Proverb

  35. "Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated." Garry Trudeau
    Cute Quotes

  36. "The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate." Doug Larson

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