Funny Family Quotes

Let these funny family quotes remind you that our families can bring out the best in us and at times, the worst. However, families are always there for us. Find funny quotes about family, parenting, mothers, dads, grandmothers, grandfathers and marriage.

Every family has its good times and its more challenging times. There is no such thing as a perfect family. Just like there are no perfect people.

Within the family we share laughter and we share tears. May these funny quotes be ones that you can relate to and ones that you will share with the special people in your life who are your family!


    Funny Quotes about Families

     Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. Evan Esar
  1. Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. Evan Esar
    Family



  2. Soup is a lot like a family. Each ingredient enhances the others; each batch has its own characteristics; and it needs time to simmer to reach full flavor. Marge Kennedy
    Family Bonding



  3. As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. Buddy Hackett
  4. As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. Buddy Hackett
    Choices



  5. Thanksgiving - when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook. Melanie White
    Thanksgiving



  6. Growing up, I have discovered over time, is rather like housework: never finished. Lois McMaster Bujold
  7. Growing up, I have discovered over time, is rather like housework: never finished. Lois McMaster Bujold
    Growth



  8. Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not. Shailene Woodley
    Not Perfect



  9. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns
    Happiness



  10. Funny Quotes about Children

  11. When you first lay eyes on your baby, or when you hold him or her for the first time, your heart will probably do one of those Lebron James-type slam dunk moves where it gets airborne for a moment. Scott Chaney, Congratulations! You're a dad
    Baby



  12. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. Ann Landers
  13. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. Ann Landers
    Listening



  14. Parents often comment that their child may be content to play alone, but as soon as a spouse comes home, suddenly their child loses all capacity for independent play and cannot tolerate that the two parents talk to each other. Anthony Wolf, "Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me!"
    Parents



  15. I had so many freckles that my mother used to say that they were kisses from the angels. Lara Flynn Boyle
    Angel



  16. Funny Parenting Quotes

    Eventually you go from judging your parents to being judged as a parent yourself. Tom Papa
  17. Eventually you go from judging your parents to being judged as a parent yourself. Tom Papa, Your Dad Stole My Rake
    Judgemental



  18. The moment will come when you are talking to your child and you hear your mother's or father's voice coming from your own lips with almost the same tone and maybe even the same words. Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care
    Funny Quotes about Life



  19. It's funny how we don't like to hear correction as children, but later on when we begin to experience our own lives; we will understand the purpose of the training and correction. Diane Winbush, Reflections of A Father
    Children



  20. They say that parenting is like dancing. You take one step, your child takes another. Michael Jackson
    Dance



  21. Funny Mother Quotes

    A mother's love is whole no matter how many times it's divided. 
Robert Brault
  22. A mother's love is whole no matter how many times it's divided. Robert Brault
    Mothers Love



  23. There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. Chinese Proverbs
    Funny Proverbs



  24. I know how to do anything I'm a mom. Roseanne Barr
    Mother



  25. A mother with toddlers never needs an alarm clock. Catherine Pulsifer
    Morning



  26. Funny Dad Quotes

    Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. Reed Markham
  27. Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. Reed Markham
    Father



  28. "When the pregnancy test stick turns blue, the light to fatherhood goes green." John Pfeiffer, Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!
    Dad



  29. When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape. Dave Attell
    Greatness



  30. Funny Grandmother Quotes

    Truth be told, being a grandma is as close as we ever get to perfection. Bryna Nelson Paston
  31. Truth be told, being a grandma is as close as we ever get to perfection. Bryna Nelson Paston
    Truth



  32. Being a grandmother requires a lot of heavy lifting. From the day that little bitty baby is born, you will be doing a lot of lifting and carrying; and that little bundle only gets heavier as he gets older. Valli Weiss, Are You Fit Enough to be a Grandmother?
    Grandmother



  33. If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. Lois Wyse
    Inspirational Quotes



  34. Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. Pam Brown
    Cute Quotes



  35. Funny Grandfather Quotes

    A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart. Author Unknown
  36. A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart. Author Unknown
    Grandfather



  37. No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet. Author Unknown
    Funny Sayings



  38. To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word "boo". Robert Brault
    Cute Life Quotes



  39. Funny Marriage Quotes

    Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage. Marcelene Cox
  40. Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage. Marcelene Cox
    Funny Poems



  41. To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup; whenever you're wrong, admit it, whenever you're right, shut up. Ogden Nash
    Marriage



  42. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are. Will Ferrell
    Quotes That Make You Smile



Related:
Family Quotes

Short Family Quotes

Family Bonding Quotes

Family Time Quotes

Blended Family Quotes

Funny Quotes

Funny Sayings

Funny Quotes about Life

Funny Proverbs

Funny Sister Quotes

Funny Poems Smile Poems



Share these funny family quotes with members of your family. Share a smile. At least one of these quotes we can all relate to. Love your family, laugh with your family, and enjoy your time with them!


More Quotes to Make You Smile and Inspire You


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