Funny Family Quotes
Let these funny family quotes remind you that our families can bring out the best in us and at times, the worst. However, families are always there for us. Find funny quotes about family, parenting, mothers, dads, grandmothers, grandfathers and marriage.
Every family has its good times and its more challenging times. There is no such thing as a perfect family. Just like there are no perfect people.
Within the family we share laughter and we share tears. May these funny quotes be ones that you can relate to and ones that you will share with the special people in your life who are your family!
- Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. Evan Esar
- Soup is a lot like a family. Each ingredient enhances the others; each batch has its own characteristics; and it needs time to simmer to reach full flavor. Marge Kennedy
- As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. Buddy Hackett
- Thanksgiving – when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook. Melanie White
- Growing up, I have discovered over time, is rather like housework: never finished. Lois McMaster Bujold
- Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not. Shailene Woodley
- Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns
- When you first lay eyes on your baby, or when you hold him or her for the first time, your heart will probably do one of those Lebron James-type slam dunk moves where it gets airborne for a moment. Scott Chaney, Congratulations! You’re a dad
- If you want your children to listen, try talking softly – to someone else. Ann Landers
- Parents often comment that their child may be content to play alone, but as soon as a spouse comes home, suddenly their child loses all capacity for independent play and cannot tolerate that the two parents talk to each other. Anthony Wolf, “Mom, Jason’s Breathing on Me!”
- I had so many freckles that my mother used to say that they were kisses from the angels. Lara Flynn Boyle
- Eventually you go from judging your parents to being judged as a parent yourself. Tom Papa, Your Dad Stole My Rake
- The moment will come when you are talking to your child and you hear your mother’s or father’s voice coming from your own lips with almost the same tone and maybe even the same words. Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care
Funny Quotes about Life
- It’s funny how we don’t like to hear correction as children, but later on when we begin to experience our own lives; we will understand the purpose of the training and correction. Diane Winbush, Reflections of A Father
- They say that parenting is like dancing. You take one step, your child takes another. Michael Jackson
- A mother’s love is whole no matter how many times it’s divided. Robert Brault
- There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. Chinese Proverbs
- I know how to do anything I’m a mom. Roseanne Barr
- A mother with toddlers never needs an alarm clock. Catherine Pulsifer
- Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. Reed Markham
- “When the pregnancy test stick turns blue, the light to fatherhood goes green.” John Pfeiffer, Dude, You’re Gonna Be a Dad!
- When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape. Dave Attell
- Truth be told, being a grandma is as close as we ever get to perfection. Bryna Nelson Paston
- Being a grandmother requires a lot of heavy lifting. From the day that little bitty baby is born, you will be doing a lot of lifting and carrying; and that little bundle only gets heavier as he gets older. Valli Weiss, Are You Fit Enough to be a Grandmother?
- If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first. Lois Wyse
- Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. Pam Brown
- A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart. Author Unknown
- No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet. Author Unknown
- To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”. Robert Brault
Cute Life Quotes
- Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage. Marcelene Cox
- To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup; whenever you’re wrong, admit it, whenever you’re right, shut up. Ogden Nash
- Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are. Will Ferrell
Quotes That Make You Smile
Funny Quotes about Families
Funny Quotes about Children
Funny Parenting Quotes
Funny Mother Quotes
Funny Dad Quotes
Funny Grandmother Quotes
Funny Grandfather Quotes
Funny Marriage Quotes
Share these funny family quotes with members of your family. Share a smile. At least one of these quotes we can all relate to. Love your family, laugh with your family, and enjoy your time with them!
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