Funny Quotes 109 to 165

  1. "If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won't come up with a hand full of mud either." Leo Burnett
    Quote of the Day

  2. "You only need listen to yourselves. It reminds me of an old proverb:
    'If and When were planted, and Nothing grew'." Catherine Pulsifer, If and When Were Planted

  3. "Trouble knocked on the door, but hearing laughter, hurried away." Benjamin Franklin

  4. We humans are a silly bunch. We spend half our time trying to fit in with the crowd and the other half trying to stand out from it. Nick Vujicic
    Funny Poems

  5. Thanksgiving - when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didnít have to cook. Melanie White

  6. You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there. Yogi Berra

  7. Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so irritating. Bill Gates
    Daily Motivation

  8. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Will Rogers

  9. An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. Winston S. Churchill

  10. If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how 
amazing you can be. Maya Angelou
  11. If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be. Maya Angelou
    Words of Encouragement

  12. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings. Dave Barry

  13. I smile because you're my sister in law, I laugh because you married my brother. Author Unknown
    Happy Birthday Sister In Law   |  

  14. You can't shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond! Eric Thomas

  15. "Life is the movie you see through your own eyes. It makes little difference what's happening out there. It's how you take it that counts." Denis Waitley

  16. "You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour." Jim Rohn
    Funny Work Quotes

  17. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Author Unknown

  18. It is difficult to steer a parked car, so get moving. Henrietta Mears
    Cute Quotes

  19. "I truly believe we are all funny . . . at least some of the time. Some of us are termed naturally funny and others have to work at it. We all have moments in life that make us laugh." David Nihill, Do You Talk Funny?
    Inspirational Quotes

  20. If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. Bendan Behan
    Irish Quotes and Sayings

  21. "Cleaning your house while your children are home is a lot like brushing your teeth with Oreos in your mouth." Author Unknown

  22. "Some people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five." Benjamin Franklin

  23. "I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from?" Author Unknown, Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions

  24. "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." Ralph Waldo Emerson

  25. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain
  26. "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been." Mark Twain

  27. "A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks." Charles Gordy

  28. "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." Zig Ziglar

  29. If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself. Irish Proverbs

  30. A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright. Lucille Ball

  31. "You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you." Walt Disney
    Funny Quotes about Life

  32. "We have a problem. 'Congratulations.' But it's a tough problem. "Then double congratulations." W. Clement Stone
    Daily Inspiration

  33. "A smile confuses an approaching frown." Author Unknown
    Smile Poem

  34. Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. William James

  35. Life is a hurdle race, the winner has to cross all the hurdles and still maintain enthusiasm. M.K. Soni

  36. " . . . I ask people if an elephant has ever bitten them. Most of the time people say no. But everyone has been bitten by a mosquito. It's the little things that get us." David DeNotaris
    Make A Difference

  37. The Wright brothers flew right through the smoke screen of impossibility. Charles Kettering

  38. You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom. Proverb
    Funny Proverbs

  39. Can I give you a handful of laughter, a smidgen of giggles to boot,
    a cupful of tease and a comical sneeze, followed by a hilarious hoot.
    John McLeod, A Handful of Laughter
    Smile Poem

  40. You need to be comfortable with you. Stop worrying about the couple in the corner who may or may not be looking at you funny. Willow Cross, Getting Over It
    Be Yourself

  41. "A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book." Irish Saying

  42. It's always too early to quit. Norman Vincent Peale
  43. It's always too early to quit. Norman Vincent Peale
    Never Quit

  44. On speech making: Be sincere; be brief; be seated. Franklin Roosevelt

  45. You can overcome anything if you don't bellyache. Bernard M. Baruch

  46. No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet. Author Unknown

  47. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. George Carlin

  48. Common sense is very uncommon. Horace Greeley
    Common Sense

  49. For a politician to complain about the press is like a ship's captain complaining about the sea. Enoch Powell

  50. A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business. Henry Ford

  51. Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship. Benjamin Franklin

  52. Procrastination is like stopping a train that left the station: when we procrastinate, we hold others up. Joseph R. Ferrari, Still Procrastinating

  53. If you are around others who are funny and lighthearted, you are more likely to find yourself relaxed and enjoying a good laugh. Ace McCloud, Forgiveness

  54. The presence of God in the flood is better than a ferry boat. Charles H. Spurgeon
    Quotes about God

  55. As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. Buddy Hackett

  56. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas A. Edison

  57. The moment will come when you are talking to your child and you hear your mother's or father's voice coming from your own lips with almost the same tone and maybe even the same words. Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care

  58. As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters. Seneca
    Life Is Beautiful

  59. We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw

  60. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday

Funny Quotes 1 to 108    |   Funny Quotes 166 to 205    | Funny Quotes 206 to 239    |

Funny Birthday Quotes  |   Funny Christmas Quotes  |   Funny Graduation Quotes  |   Funny Quotes about Life  |   Funny Proverbs  |   Funny Friendship Quotes  |   Funny Sister Quotes  |   Funny Work Quotes  |   Cute Quotes   |   Cute Life Quotes  |   Cute Love Quotes  |  
Funny Poems  |   Smile Poems  |  

Words of Wisdom  |   Quotes   |   Poems   |   Monthly Calendar - Daily Inspirational Quotes  |   Thought For The Day  | Contact Us  |   About Us  |   Disclaimer   |   Disclosure  |   Privacy Policy Words of Wisdom |