43 Funny Christmas Quotes To Bring Smiles

43 Funny Christmas Quotes

Enjoy these funny Christmas quotes, may they bring a smile to your face. Share them with others to bring a laugh during a very hectic time of the year!

Christmas is a time of year we should feel peace and joy, but sometimes the business of the season causes us stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed, let these funny quotes give you a smile and a minute to relax. Happy Christmas to YOU!

  1. Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. Larry Wilde
  2. funny christmas quotes to make you smile

  3. There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. Erma Bombeck
    Christmas Quotes
  4. There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. Bob Phillips
    Christmas Message
  5. It’s good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas.Charles Dickens
    Famous Quotes
  6. At Christmas a man is at his finest towards the finish of the year;
    he is almost what he should be when the Christmas seasons here. Edgar A Guest
    Christmas Poems
  7. One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly. Andy Rooney
    Christmas Greetings
  8. People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks? Author Unknown
    Funny Quotes
  9. I wish that dear old Santa would take me for a ride;
    I’d like to drive his reindeer and sit by Santa’s side.Ovie Pedige Tanner, A Ride With Santa
    Christmas Poems For Kids
  10. He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree. Roy L Smith

  11. He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree.Roy L Smith
    Christmas Sayings
  12. More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you’ve been bad and good.Linda Sunshine
    Funny Sister Quotes
  13. You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. Robert Paul
  14. In this age of instant coffee, overnight rush deliveries, and 30-second media sound bites, it’s not surprising that children have discovered that their letters to Santa Claus can be sent by email.Patrick Flaherty
  15. Christmas is always a problem to the man who has to convince his kids that there is a Santa Claus, and his wife that there isn’t.Evan Esar
  16. Of course Santa is dead, you force a guy to eat a billion cookies in one night, what do you think is going to happen?Jimmy Kimmel
  17. Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. Andy Borowitz
  18. Don’t be a Scrooge, share your Christmas!Kate Summers
  19. Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year.Victor Borge
  20. I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. Bernard Manning
  21. No doubt about it, Santa is old fashioned. He is also an individualist. He goes his own way. He doesn’t obey airport tower controllers or customs officials.Frank Miniter
    Funny Quotes about Life
  22. Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. Author Unknown

  23. Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.Author Unknown
  24. Just look at Christmas morning pictures if you want to see truly what a person looks like first thing in the morning.Catherine Pulsifer
    Good Day Quotes
  25. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.Bridger Winegar
  26. One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn�t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.J.K. Rowling, Author
  27. Ho, ho, ho – Cherry nose – Cap on head – Suit that’s red – Special night – Beard that’s white – Must be SantaBob Dylan
    Thought For The Day
  28. Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it white.Bing Crosby
    Blessed Quotes
  29. Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. Richard Lamm
    Funny Proverbs
  30. funny quotes for Christmas

  31. Keep Calm and Wait For SantaAuthor Unknown
    Keep Calm
  32. The older I get, the fewer useless gifts I get. The fewer I get, the less I have to wrap to re-gift for next Christmas.Robert Rivers
    Cool Quotes
  33. I am not sure Christmas is good for my health. After all the Christmas dinners and goodies, I end up looking like Santa Claus, with my bowl full of jelly. Theodore W. Higginsworth
  34. Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal. Lenore Hershey
    Top Ten Quotes about Books
  35. You can just hear Santa saying Ho, Ho, Ho, when you receive your credit card statement in January.Kate Summers
  36. The older I get, the younger Santa Claus looks!

  37. The older I get, the younger Santa Claus looks!Catherine Pulsifer
    Birthday Quotes
  38. I never get to see Santa Claus come down the chimney because I always get too tiredand fall asleep from eating all his cookies while waiting for him.Theodore W. Higginsworth
  39. All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.Donald Yetter Gardner
    Wishes Quotes
  40. Do not listen to Mrs.Claus about the cookies. My cholesterol is fine. And I get plenty of exercise on Christmas Eve.Santa Claus; Amy Newmark, Chicken Soup for the Soul: Merry Christmas!
  41. The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. Burton Hillis
    Family Quotes
  42. Christmas is here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.Wendy Cope
  43. Let’s approach Christmas with an expectant hush, rather than a last-minute rush.Author Unknown
  44. My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that? Bob Hope
    Love Quotes
  45. funny christmas quotes we can all relate to

  46. Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends. Larry Wilde
  47. Santa’s reindeer get around so fast because they have athletes feet. Art Linkletters collection of sayings of children, Kids Sure Are Funny
    Christmas Poems
  48. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.Maya Angelou
  49. Instead of buying new cards each year, reuse old Christmas cards that you have been given. Get creative and funny, cross out the old sections of handwriting and add your own.Henry Owen, How to Have a Green Christmas
    Creativity Quotes

Related Christmas:
Christmas Quotes   |  Christmas Greetings   |  Christmas Message   |  Christmas Sayings   |  Christmas Poems   |  Christmas Poems for Kids   |  

Related Funny:
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